Attics to Eden
by GildedButterfly
Summary: An EmbryxOC fanfiction, because you can never really have enough Embry. Addie moves to Forks with her parents and four brothers, hating the small town just like Bella did. But her salvation comes from a different kind of mythical creature... DISCONTINUED.
1. Musee des Beaux Arts

* * *

"…_the expensive, delicate ship that must have seen_

_Something amazing, a boy falling out of the sky_

_Had somewhere to get to and sailed calmly on."_

- W.H. Auden

* * *

I stuck my hand out the car window. My fingers drifted through the humid air in a last-ditch attempt to catch some of the warmth and drag it along with me. I coughed a little, and worked on keeping my face serene. In truth, my stomach was tying up in knots at the thought of leaving my home behind, but I'd be damned if I was going to let the four boys in the car with me in on that secret. I felt a hand lightly squeeze my shoulder, and smiled at Aidan in gratitude, ignoring the smirks dominating the faces of the other three.

"I know, Addie," Steven sighed, managing to pull off a perfect sneer despite the distraction of watching the road.

"I'd be distraught if I had to move to a new state, too. But I have friends I would be leaving behind. You, on the other hand…" His voice trailed off, and his comment elicited a small snort from Lucas and Jamie. But luckily, they allowed the 'let's rip our sister to pieces and see if we can make her cry' moment to die there. They were both too miserable at having to share my fate. Well, my fate of being unwillingly dragged to a new state/home/school, not my fate of being friendless.

I rolled my eyes and stuck out my tongue at Steven in the rear-view mirror.

Steven had never approved much of my friends; it had been easier for him to just phase them out completely. Not too difficult a task considering he'd moved out to his college dorm last year, and now only showed up periodically with his arms full of dirty laundry.

Since he no longer lived at home, Steven was the only one of us granted immunity from the move. San Francisco, California to Forks, Washington. I sighed deeply, and slumped back in my seat.

"You know, it might not be so bad." Ever the eternal optimist, Aidan's voice broke through the quiet.

"Of course it won't. We're moving to a place with a population the size of a shoebox, where it rains about 350 days a year. What could possibly be bad about that?" Up in the front seat, Lucas was irritable. And when Lucas was irritable, everyone knew about it.

"And Addie, if your foot hits off the back of my chair one more time I'm going to come back there and remove it for you, okay?"

My foot froze in place, a centimetre away from where it had been about to make contact once more.

Luke settled back into ignoring us, satisfied that he had terrified me into keeping myself still. I waited until he was glaring out the window, probably a million miles away, before I slammed my foot into his chair once more, with all the force I could muster. Which wasn't all that much in the grand scheme of things, but it was enough to make him grunt and attempt to twist himself over the chair, no doubt to surgically remove my limb. Steven's hand was there though, pushing him back into place.

"Oh grow up, would you both?"

Steven might have been exempt from moving to what was probably going to be my own personal hell, but he had been enlisted to help ferry us across the state lines. My mom was driving the car I normally shared with Lucas, filled with stuff. My dad was driving his own car, filled with stuff. Steven had generously offered his car too, to take the four of us, and some more stuff. Plus, there was a movers van following us along the way, also filled with stuff. It was amazing how much crap one family could accumulate over the years.

I shoved my iPod earphones in, drowning out the embarrassing background noise Steven was blaring out the car stereo and referring to as music.

Leaning my head against the window, I willed myself to fall asleep. It didn't happen. Of course not. Why would I want to sleep away God knows how many hours trapped in an enclosed space with my four brothers? It would mean missing so much intelligent banter. I popped one earphone out long enough to hear Aidan and Luke debate the difference between big city and small town girls, with Luke declaring the winner to be city girls because they had "less morals".

I shook my head in wonder and put the earphone back in place, giving myself over completely to the talents of Billy Corgan.

We stopped eventually to regain movement in our legs and have some food, finding our parents at a table in some generic diner at the side of the road.

The hamburger I ordered looked questionable, and didn't taste much better. Much as he got on my nerves, I wasn't quite at the stage where I wanted to hurl my load in the back of Steven's car, so I pushed it away after a few bites and delicately sipped my Coke. Aidan pushed half his macaroni cheese towards me, an offer my rumbling stomach gladly accepted for me. Aidan was my twin (non-identical), and I guess on some level it made sense, but it never ceased to amaze me how attuned to my feelings he always seemed to be. The three idiots we were sharing the table with were less concerned about my hunger, their mouths hanging open at the very thought of giving half their food to someone else. My mom shook her head at them, finally ceasing her flow of questions: how had the trip been so far, was Steven driving carefully, were we all too squashed in, had there been any bodily harm yet, and so on. My dad just laughed, clearly insanely happy that we were finally on our way to our new life. The move to Rain City was all down to him; his bookstore hadn't been doing too well among hundreds of others in the big city, and he wanted to see how well it would do in a smaller location. Why Forks? I genuinely had no idea, besides my theory that he was a closet sadist.

The time passed too quickly, and before I knew where I was we were back in the car, ready for part two of the journey.

I pulled out my somewhat weathered copy of _East of Eden_, and set about losing myself in the wonders of the Salinas Valley for the umpteenth time. Aidan laughed at my predictability. Any time something was changing for me, from the beginning of high school to my first boyfriend to moving to a new town, this particular book would make an appearance. I had no idea why, but reading it always calmed me down. Lucas and Jamie were shooting me disgusted looks. I figured it was best to kick that habit in the head before they really got into it.

"Yes kids, this is what we call a book. I know you illiterates don't see them very often but try not to act so shocked over it, you'll give yourselves away."

Luke muttered something about people who read being boring (startlingly original, I know), but at least the two of them stopped staring at me. Given that our father owned a bookstore, it never failed to astound me that I was the only one to really inherit his love of reading. Steven did it when he had to (textbooks for his university course mainly), and Aidan had been known to pick up the odd Chuck Palahnuik when the mood took him, but Lucas (one year my senior) and Jamie (one year my junior) treated the act of picking up a book like it was the end result of a serious mental illness.

The long drive passed faster with my head in the novel, a few more stops for food and toilet breaks and then Steven was telling us all we were nearly in Forks. I put the book away immediately and stared outside with interest like everyone else; we had never seen the town or our new house before. Our parents had settled everything themselves, wanting to surprise us with the house when we got there. I was somewhat dubious about this plan since the five of us had such varied tastes that it would be impossible to please us all. There was going to be a tantrum from someone, I could feel it.

Returning my attention to the outside, I noticed a lot of people on the rainy streets staring at us open-mouthed. I realised with our three cars and the big van, we must be making quite a procession. But I still sighed, irritated. Back in the city, you could wander around carrying a mutilated goats' head and no one would take any notice. I could already tell I was going to hate the small-town experience. I loved the anonymity of the city and the feeling that no matter what earth-shattering thing was happening to you, there was still life carrying on nearby, that there was still people who didn't give a shit about your misery because they had their own lives to lead. I got the feeling that anything affecting you here would be dissected and discussed by small minds that nothing could get by. I wasn't too keen on that at all, I preferred my pain to be passed over by others. It only made it easier to get past myself. I made myself ignore the inquisitive faces, staring at the landscape instead. Not that there was much to stare at besides the rain on the pavement and a load of green everywhere.

We pulled up to a large house behind mom's car, all six of us pelting up the front steps with blatant curiosity. So far, so good. No one seemed too horrified by the outside of our new home. Shock to end all shocks, the same was true of the inside. The rooms were big and airy, and it had three bathrooms: always good in a house full of teenage boys.

Yeah, I could actually find myself liking this house. I wandered through the three big bedrooms, contented.

Until it hit me. Three bedrooms. My mom and dad had promised me and Luke our own bedroom each (because Lucas was the oldest and I was the only girl), and unless my math was supremely off, there definitely weren't enough rooms for that promise to be kept.

The tantrum I had been sure about earlier was suddenly erupting.

"Moooooommmmmmmmmm!" I screeched, thumping down the stairs.

She barely had time to look up in confusion before I continued.

"Are you freakin' kidding me? There are THREE bedrooms upstairs. Three. And unless I'm mistaken, that means I'm going to be sharing a room. When you promised! You promised me, Mom, that I wouldn't have to do that again. That's the only reason I agreed to move to this hicktown!"

My mom pursed her lips.

"Adalia Marie George, if you ever speak to me like that again you're going to find yourself without a room in any house of this family. Do you understand me?"

"But you promised," I whispered, unable to stop myself.

My mom sighed and walked up the stairs, barking "Follow me," over her shoulder.

She went to the end of the upstairs hallway, and pulled on a lever hanging from the ceiling. A set of stairs unfolded, and she motioned me to climb up them. After doing so, I found myself in the attic. The attic that had been renovated to make another bedroom.

I squealed, and threw my arms around her, apologising profusely for being such a bitch. She rolled her eyes. She was more than used to my rapid mood swings by now. We went back downstairs, and it wasn't long before she was ordering us all out the house. Apparently five teenagers got in the way of movers arranging furniture. Who knew, right?

Our many possessions had been unpacked from the cars, so Luke grabbed the keys for ours and I called shotgun. Being the only two besides Steven with licenses, our parents had given us a car to share. And now they had given us firm instructions to go and "explore the town". The very prospect was setting me alight with the fires of happiness. I informed my mom and dad of this, but they only rolled their eyes and told me to get out.

Which was how I found myself in some kind of sporting goods store at the edge of the town, when all I really wanted was to collapse somewhere and fall asleep. It had been a long journey.

The blond guy behind the counter had been eyeing me with interest ever since we walked in, but my brothers were too engrossed in whatever crap they were selling here to listen to my pleas to leave.

I stared around disinterestedly, and jumped when I heard a voice from behind me asking if I needed any help. I turned around to face the blond guy.

"Nope."

I wasn't in the mood for polite small talk, and I hoped my rudeness would put him off. I walked across the shop, pretending to be interested in something else. My luck was out apparently, and he fell into step beside me.

"Your boyfriend?" he indicated Aidan, who I'd walked in with.

A giggle escaped me.

"My twin brother."

"Oh." He looked pleased.

"So are you guys new in town? I don't think I've seen you around before."

"Just moved here today."

He nodded, stuck out his hand. I shook it reluctantly.

"Jonathan Newton. It's nice to meet you… ?"

"Adalia George."

"Nice name. So you'll be going to the high school here?"

"Yeah, I guess so. I'm trying not to think about it too much."

That pleased look was back on his face, and he was about to ask me something else when I noticed my brothers beginning to drift back outside.

"Ugh sorry Jonathan, I gotta go. See you around, maybe." I backed away.

He looked disappointed for a second, then recovered.

"Yeah, I'll see you in school!"

Of course.

I ran for the door and the safety of the car.

"Boyfriend already?" Jamie laughed. I only grunted in response.

We drove around for the rest of the afternoon, and returned home when my mom called Luke's cell to tell him the house was now in a half-decent state.

I looked quickly around, making the obligatory appreciative noises, before telling everyone I was tired and wanted to go to bed early.

"It's six o'clock and you haven't had any dinner, Addie," my dad pointed out.

I walked to the kitchen and made myself two slices of toast (we didn't have much in the way of food yet, only the few things we'd brought with us) before going back through and holding them up to everyone.

My mom murmured that toast wasn't a proper dinner, but didn't make any move to stop me as I escaped upstairs. My dad shouted a reminder that we were all starting school the next day. I grimaced involuntarily as I pulled on the lever and walked into my new room. Most of my stuff was still in boxes, but the essentials had been unpacked for me and I collapsed gratefully on the bed, barely making it through my toast before sleep claimed me.

* * *

**A/N: Sorry there's no Embry yet, I wanted to set up Addie's character and background first. It won't be long before he makes his first appearance though!  
Reviews make me very very very happy, so if you have a spare minute, move your mouse to the wee box underneath this text :)**


	2. Medusa

* * *

"_And here you come_

_with a shield for a heart_

_and a sword for a tongue_

_and your girls, your girls._

_Wasn't I beautiful?_

_Wasn't I fragrant and young?_

_Look at me now."_

- Carol Ann Duffy

* * *

"You can't have the camel, it's mine!" I blurted out, bolting upright in my bed. The remnants of my dream stuck in my sleepy mind.

"The camel?"

My mom was sitting at the side of my bed, her eyebrows raised.

I glowered in response, my eyes adjusting to the light in the small room. I had never been much of a morning person, and given that my mom had just shaken me awake (quite violently, I should add), she wasn't currently topping my Christmas card list.

"You have to leave for school in an hour, so you might want to claim a bathroom before I go downstairs and wake the boys."

I changed my expression into what I assumed was a smile of gratitude, but it was too early for me to tell if I had pulled it off adequately. Back home my mom had woken me up ten minutes before my brothers to allow me a shot at a shower every morning. At least that much hadn't changed.

If only I could say the same for everything else. I looked wistfully out the little round window and watched the pouring rain battering the helpless ground.

A few minutes passed before I heard people moving around downstairs, and I realised how much time I had wasted staring outside. I moved quickly then, finding the first two bathrooms already occupied. I reached the last one and slammed the door shut just as I saw Lucas stumble from his room, his eyes still half-closed. Humming softly to myself now, I stepped in the shower and allowed the warm water to erase the cobwebs from my sleep-ridden brain. I could feel myself begin to wake up as I finished washing my hair and climbed out, wrapping myself deftly in a towel.

A fierce hammering began on the door as I covered my hair with another towel, and was continued in time to Luke's hollered demands that he needed a shower NOW. Satisfied that I was finished in the bathroom, I perched on the edge of the toilet seat to allow Lucas to really get into his rant. When he seemed to be sufficiently annoyed, I pulled the door open quickly. So quickly, that leaning against the door frame as he was, he nearly had a heart attack when he noticed no longer had anything to support his weight and he fell forwards into the room. I skipped around him on my way out, dancing past the hands trying to make a grab for my ankles.

Forty minutes left. I registered this when I was safely back in the attic, rummaging frantically through boxes to find something suitable to wear on a rainy day. My shoes were a disaster; they were all dainty slip-on flats. I was sure I had a pair of ankle boots somewhere, but shock to end all shocks, I couldn't find them anywhere. My luck in this rainy hellhole was obviously equivalent to my luck back home on Friday the thirteenth, after walking under a ladder and crossing the path of a black cat. I abandoned my search for the boots when I came across my black skinny jeans. Figuring I wasn't likely to get much luckier than that, I pulled them on with a baggy white shirt and black waist belt. Fastening the belt, I glanced absentmindedly in the mirror and froze when I realised that I hadn't worn it since…

I pulled the belt off with such force that I ended up ripping the shirt underneath. Sighing, I pulled another white shirt from the box and found a red waist belt instead.

The next thirty five minutes were a blur; my mind stuck in the past.

Shaking my head to remove the unpleasant memories, I realised I was nearly out of time and I still hadn't found the boots. I pulled on my red flats instead, and hoped no one at my new school would be backwards enough to crack a Dorothy joke. Grabbing my red bag and stuffing a notebook and set of pens inside, I made a run for the front door, shouting goodbye to my mom and dad on the way.

I slid victoriously into the backseat of the car just as Luke was revving the engine, smiling at Aidan as he passed me two buttered pieces of toast. It was good to have some proof that old habits die hard. I had never been one for time management, and my wonderfully punctual brother had always made sure I remained well fed in the mornings.

I remained quiet on the car ride to school, stolidly ignoring the little army of butterflies taking up residence in my stomach. Up front, Jamie looked a little green.

The parking lot was still kinda empty when we pulled up. I made a mental note to put 'Plan: Make Mom Wake Me Up Fifteen Minutes Later' into motion the next morning.

We wandered as a group over to the front office, where the woman behind the desk handed over class schedules and maps.

Since neither Jamie nor Lucas had any shot of being in my classes, I ignored them both and compared schedules with Aidan. Some bright spark had clearly tried to separate us as much as possible, but we had an afternoon English period together once a day.

Our first classes seemed to be in the same general direction though, so we waved off Luke and Jamie and set off, trying not to look too overwhelmed.

"Are you okay? You seem a little glazed this morning," he noted with spectacular insight into my messed-up head, as always.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just accidentally put on the belt that… I'm fine. Just nervous about the first day, I guess. Will I make some shiny new friends? Will the kids be mean to me? My entire future could depend on the answers to these questions."

He snorted a laugh before leaving me at what appeared to be my building. Setting my shoulders and heaving a resigned sigh, I walked inside and wandered around until I found my classroom.

Chemistry with Mr Reid. Excellent.

I had been failing every science back in San Francisco, and I wasn't expecting to do much better here. Chemistry had been my worst subject, and my teacher one of the worst human beings I had ever encountered.

Still, this guy signed my slip and pointed me to an empty seat in the back of the room without any fuss or embarrassing introductions to the class, so maybe we would get on slightly better. Jonathan Newton walked in just before the bell rang, waving enthusiastically when he noticed me. The period passed slowly, and I had to concentrate all my energy on looking awake when the teacher glanced my way. It worked for the most part, but my will was slowly ebbing away as the period neared to a close, and I'm pretty sure if the bell hadn't rang when it did I would have ended up snoring gently with my head on the desk.

Jonathan cornered me as I rose to leave. I mumbled a hi and shot him a small smile.

"You okay? You don't seem too happy this morning. Wishing you were back in Kansas?" He looked down at my shoes pointedly and grinned.

Biting down on my tongue to prevent the immediate retort from coming out, I faked a smile. I was starting to get the feeling I would be doing that a lot today.

"So where are you from? I don't think I asked last night."

"San Francisco. My dad had a bookstore there, and he wanted to move it to a smaller town to see how it would do."

He nodded in encouragement, probably because that was the longest sentence I'd spoken within his earshot since we'd met.

"You miss it?"

"Yeah, I do. I like big cities. Everything feels so small here. No offence."

"None taken."

"Plus all the rain. How do you deal with that?"

"You'll get used to it, don't worry. We all did."

I began to feel glad of his presence when he went over my class schedule with me, smiling that I was in about eighty percent of his classes and telling me how to get to the others. He was a little overeager, but generally easy to talk to. I found myself agreeing to have lunch at his table, on the condition that my brothers could tag along with me. Well _brother._ I didn't really give a shit whether Luke or Jamie joined us, as long as Aidan was with me.

The rest of the morning passed quickly, and I ran into Aidan in the corridor while walking to the lunch hall with Jonathan and his friend Toby. Introductions were exchanged, and we entered the cafeteria and chose some food before sitting down at Jonathan's usual table. He introduced us to his friends.

Derek, Kyle, Marcus, Janine, Melissa, Dawn, Hunter.

Their faces were friendly, and they asked a lot of polite questions about us before falling into general conversation. Even I didn't find it too hard to join in, and Aidan was a natural at this type of thing. I envied his ease around strangers sometimes, I always came off as either rude or disinterested at first. But Aidan always managed to immediately charm people he'd never met before. I saw a group of people wave at him from across the cafeteria, one girl in particular looking at him with longing in her eyes.

"So what do you guys do on a Friday night in a place this small?" Aidan was asking when I returned my attention to our table.

"There's a big bonfire going on tonight down in La Push, I think most of us will be heading down there. You guys should come," Toby offered.

"La Push?" I asked.

"The Quileute reservation next to us. It's not that far away by car."

"Sounds great," Aidan agreed.

The bell rang and I screwed up my face unintentionally. I knew from checking my schedule earlier that Calculus was next, a subject nearly as awful for me as Chemistry. I was right to be anxious: I was called on for an answer twice during the period and twice I got said answers wrong. I exhaled in relief when I entered the English classroom, pleased that I was finally in a subject I knew something about. The reading list was a joy to look over; I hadn't read all the books but the ones I had yet to pick up I had been meaning to read for a while. I smiled happily to myself for the entire period, ignoring Aidan's laughter and comments about pigs in mud.

The end of the day finally arrived, and I was surprised when Jonathan found his way over to me in the car park.

"Could I talk to you for a minute?"

"Erm, sure." Aidan walked ahead, calling over his shoulder that he would meet me at the car.

"So, this bonfire tonight. You're going, right?"

"Yeah," I responded, a sinking in my stomach as I realised where this might be going.

"Well, I was just wondering if you'd maybe want to go… with me. As like a date?"

Jeez. To give him his due, the boy didn't waste much time.

"That's really nice of you to ask Jonathan, but I don't really date."

His face fell.

"Oh, okay. Can I ask why?"

"Just a bad experience back home. I'm sorta off guys for a while," I said lightly, ignoring the clenching of my stomach muscles.

He nodded slowly.

"I guess I'll just see you there then."

I smiled and waved goodbye, navigating my way across the crowded lot and finding my brothers waiting for me in the car.

"You shut him down?" Aidan asked.

"Yeah," I muttered, not really wanting to get into it.

"You know, he seems nice. Maybe you should give him a chance…"

His voice trailed off at the look on my face.

"I'm just not interested, okay?"

"Okay. Whatever my darling sister wants she shall receive."

He smiled, a peace offering. I smiled in response, accepting it.

The drive home was much louder than the drive there, everyone relieved to have gotten the first day over and done with.

We trundled into the house, cold and wet from the rain. It had been constant all day, a never-ending tapping on the roof of the school that I eventually ceased to notice because it had went on so long. I wondered about tonight, and how they would possibly have a bonfire if the rain kept up at this rate.

* * *

**Can you guess how she's going to meet our wonderful Embry now? Subtlety was never one of my strong points :)  
Much love and cupcakes to Weasleygrlz07, juulyforever, MagicalFaerie and Ereana for the first reviews. I'm so glad people actually liked Addie, I wasn't sure how well she would come off.**


	3. The Inferno

_Avarice, envy, pride,_

_Three fatal sparks,_

_Have set the hearts of all_

_On fire._

- Dante Alighieri

* * *

We had been home for less than half an hour when I decided to go out again. My room was still an unpacked mess and looking at it was driving me crazy, so there was clearly only one sensible thing to do about that: I left so I wouldn't have to look at it.

Yanking up my hood to protect my hair from the rain (I was beginning to forget what the sun looked like), I left the house to the sound of Aidan telling me to be back by 7pm for the bonfire.

Forks wasn't a big town, and even without knowing exactly where I was going, I still managed to find the new location for my dad's bookshop in under fifteen minutes.

Parking the car at the side of the street and ducking inside, I felt as though I was staring at a larger version of my bedroom. The room was big and open, but the sheer amount of bookshelves made it feel smaller and the air closer, and the piles of half-opened boxes scattered across the floor weren't doing anything to help matters.

"Dad?" I called, picking my way carefully across the room.

"In here," I heard him yell from through a doorway at the back of the room.

I made my way into a much smaller, and thankfully much emptier room. He was sitting behind a small desk with a single box on it, his brow furrowed as he stared at a printed sheet of paper in front of him.

"No, I've been holding for over ten minutes. Okay, thank you," he murmured.

"What?" I asked in confusion, only then noticing the phone in his left hand.

"Oh sorry Dad, I didn't realise you were on the phone."

He cupped his hand over the mouthpiece.

"Don't worry about it, I'm not listening to anything except a particularly bad piece of music at the moment anyway."

"What's wrong?"

"I thought I should get in some books about the local area for any tourists who might be passing through, but I had to use a new supplier for it. And according to this list, there's a couple of books missing from my order… Yes hello, I was wondering if you could help me," his voice changed to his usual business drawl at the end of his speech, and I assumed someone had finally appeared at the other end of the phone.

I looked disinterestedly through the box; geographical history had never been my thing. But having already read everything of interest that my dad currently stocked, I was running out of options. A green cover stood out among the dull greys, and I pulled it out.

'Native Peoples of the Olympic Peninsula: Who We Are' was written across the front in yellow lettering.

I wandered absentmindedly through to the main room, the sound of my dad arguing with his supplier fading into background noise as I flicked through the contents. One of the tribe names caught my eye, and I struggled to recall why it sounded so familiar to me. Finding the appropriate section of the book, I sat down on one of the boxes and leaned against the wall. Reading the location of this tribe brought everything back to me, as I remembered the conversation at lunch earlier that day.

"_La Push?"_

"_The Quileute reservation next to us. It's not that far away by car."_

I settled back into the comfiest position I could manage on a cardboard box filled with books, and began to read.

* * *

"Addie? I'm closing up now, do you need a lift home?"

I looked up from the page, slightly disoriented.

"Closing up? What time is it?"

"Half six."

I felt my eyes bulge as I realised I had half an hour to drive home and make myself look presentable before we left at seven.

"Nah, I drove down. See you at home!" I called over my shoulder as I sprinted from the shop. My hands automatically reached up to my hood to pull it down when I got outside, and I stopped dead as I realised this wouldn't be necessary. The rain had stopped. Sure, the temperature was still of arctic proportions, but the rain had stopped. I found myself grinning in disbelief as I flung myself into the car, placing the book I had never let go of on the passenger seat.

I glanced at it out of the corner of my eye while I drove. The first couple of chapters had been dull, full of geographical locations and political beliefs, but the legends of the Quileute tribe had been… unbelievable. They had transported me utterly into another world, one where people actually believed in the existence of werewolves. These people didn't just believe, they placed the myth at the very foundation of their entire culture. I had been fascinated while I was reading, but thinking back on it now I was more than a little creeped out. I had never liked supernatural films as a kid, and I didn't appreciate them much more now than I had then; I think it was more the idea of something like that existing in the world, something beyond the average, that I couldn't really handle. I had always been the person in philosophical debates fighting tooth and nail that unless something could be explained rationally then I wouldn't believe it. My teacher had asked why I couldn't just have faith, why I couldn't just blindly believe that there was something bigger than me that I wasn't supposed to understand. I can remember shaking my head, unable to answer. Faith was something I had never understood, I wasn't fond of taking emotional risks without evidential proof. That was how people got carried away with their feelings, and that was how they ended up getting hurt.

"Are you okay, Addie?"

I had reached home by this point, and I was so lost in thought that I hadn't noticed my mom standing in the front hall with me.

I forced a smile, I could only imagine what my face had looked like a second ago.

"Yeah mom, I'm fine. Just a little weirded out by a book I was reading in the shop."

"Okay honey, if you're sure. Everyone else is nearly ready for this bonfire thing, you'd better get a move on."

I ran up to my room, glad of the mirror that some wonderful person had helpfully put up for me. There would be no time for another shower, and I winced as I glanced at my hair. Normally poker-straight, the damp had done its damage and my layers were curling erratically around my face. I grabbed a can of hairspray and messed it up further, attempting to make it look intentional. I sighed as I looked at the results and realised my plan would never work. Giving up on my hair, I quickly changed my clothes, slicked on some more eyeliner (the stuff from this morning was starting to come off) and grabbed a jacket with a hood before going back downstairs. I was happy about the lack of rain, but I wasn't in the habit of being optimistic to the point of stupidity.

Lucas handed me the car keys when I reached the car, and I stared at him in surprise. There had been literal bloodshed in San Francisco over who got to drive; the time when we ended up in a fight and he drew blood when he bit my arm had stuck in my mind ever since.

He noticed my shock and shrugged his shoulders, before climbing into the passenger seat.

"Someone wants to get drunk tonight," Aidan sang as he drifted past to the backseat.

Oh, it all made sense to me now. I might have been more irritated if I'd been planning on drinking, but the thought had never crossed my brain so it didn't bother me much.

I hadn't drank in a really long time, not since…

I turned up the car stereo, blocking everything out. I had no idea where we were going, but the practical twin in the backseat had thought to ask someone for directions, so he was able to instruct me on the right way.

The beach wasn't too hard to miss when we hit La Push, though. It curved out along the coast, beautiful in a haunting sort of way. The sky was just beginning to darken, and the huge bonfire cast hazy shadows up and down the stretch of land. We made our way across the beach to the fire, and I made out Jonathan, Hunter and Dawn sitting on a log.

I smiled hesitantly as I reached them, praying hard that Jonathan wouldn't make things awkward. He looked right at me and matched my smile though, so I figured things would be okay. Lucas had broken away from us as soon as we'd arrived, because of course it would ruin his life if he was seen for even a second with his younger siblings. Aidan, Jonathan and Hunter left to fetch us all drinks and food, and I was left sitting with Dawn.

The silence was palpable at first, but after a few minutes of awkward questioning I realised I'd found a kindred soul in everything book and music related.

We were comparing thoughts on the most recent Smashing Pumpkins album when I felt a shadow pass over me, and happened to glance over to my right. A group of guys was passing by our log, each one of them so tall that I was sure I would feel utterly dwarfed by them even standing at my fullest height (I'm not short by any definition of the word). It wasn't their height which made me gape though, it was the fact that all five of them were shirtless, clothed only in cut-off jeans or shorts, the muscles extraordinarily defined on each of their torsos. They walked straight past us to a group at the other side of the bonfire. I noted that the group contained similarly tall and muscled teenage boys, and a few girls. All of them had matching russet skin, flawlessly gorgeous in the light of the fire. I gathered they must be locals in La Push, part of the Quileute tribe whose legends had so engrossed me earlier.

"Who are they?" I asked Dawn, unable to prevent the curiosity evident in my voice.

"Oh, that's Sam Uley's group," she murmured, gazing over at them with me.

"What's that about Sam Uley?"

I jumped at the voice, and whirled around to see Jonathan return, trailed by Aidan and Hunter.

Aidan handed me a hotdog and Hunter offered me a beer, which I refused.

"They walked past us and Addie was just wondering who they were. They tend to make quite an impression if you've never seen them before," Dawn chuckled.

I smirked.

Jonathan made a disgusted noise, and I turned to him.

"What?"

"I don't like them," he said stiffly.

"Why not?"

"They're show-offs. You see those cliffs up there? They go cliff-diving, from the top one. Most of the time in really dangerous conditions. And they take themselves so seriously, like the future of their tribe depends on them. They're just teenagers like any one of us, chrissake. It's about time they realised it."

I raised my eyebrows but didn't push the matter further.

I enjoyed the bonfire to begin with, the atmosphere was relaxed and it was warm around the fire. But as everyone got steadily drunker and I remained sober, I started to get annoyed. A year ago I had drank profusely because I hated being the soberest person in a group of people, and it was much harder to be irritated by drunk people when you were one of them.

I walked a little down the beach to get some quiet. The overly loud voices were still ringing in my ears. Even Aidan was tipsy, although he wasn't so much an annoyance as he was an unbearable sweetheart after a few drinks.

When I got back to our log, it was empty. I sighed and sat down alone, staring at the bonfire as it began to die down a little and listening to the raucous shouts coming from all around me.

My eyes drifted past the fire, back to where Sam Uley's "group" had been sitting earlier. That log appeared to be empty too and my eyes were moving past when I noticed a solitary figure sitting there, now illuminated by the moving flames.

I started at the unexpected sight; I had thought the spot was empty just a second before. I was about to look away politely when I realised he was staring at me.

Slightly disconcerted, I glanced behind me to check if he was maybe looking at someone else. There was no one there. I looked back, and he was still staring.

What the hell was his problem? I was a little freaked, and about to get up and storm away when his eyes caught me.

His face was slender, but he was equally as tall and muscular as any of the others that had surrounded him earlier. His dark hair was cut short, his skin that exquisite russet colour. His entire demeanour was one of reserved confidence. Some of the boys I had seen earlier had an outward swagger, their inflated muscles obviously inflating their egos. This one was different, though. There was something… something that used to be shyness, I think, but that had morphed into a sort of self-contained certainty.

But his eyes…

His eyes were dark as two pieces of coal, and in the flickering light from the fire they were burning. Burning straight through me as they gazed at me with an undeniable longing.

I was mesmerised.

* * *

**And so they meet…  
****Well kinda. They will actually exchange words in the next chapter, I promise!  
****Let me know what you thought of this one though :)  
And just so I don't get sued for copyright, the book I mentioned is a real book- I read about it on Amazon. I don't own it though, so I can't definitely say for sure what it's content includes. But nevermind, you can't have everything.**


	4. The Tempest

**A/N: Someone asked me in a review about the timeline, so I thought I'd clear that up before this chapter. Not meaning to offend anyone, but I hated Breaking Dawn, so for my own sanity I'm pretending it doesn't exist. This is set a couple of months after Eclipse ended, and for the sake of simplicity I'm just going to assume Bella and Edward got married and left, and Jake came back to the pack.  
Also, the reviews and alerts for this story are finally climbing: I adore all of you who left me something to read or who put this on your alert list. Weasleygrlz07, that's all three chapters you've commented on now, did anyone ever tell you how awesome you are?  
Enjoy everyone!**

* * *

"_Be not afeard. The isle is full of noises._

_Sounds and sweet airs that give delight and hurt not._

_Sometimes a thousand twangling instruments_

_Will hum about mine ears; and sometimes voices…"_

- William Shakespeare

* * *

I was frozen to the log. My brain appeared to have left the building, but I was in no fit state to mourn its loss. In fact, the most I could manage was keeping my mouth closed while I stared, to avoid the perennially attractive goldfish look.

I wanted to look away, I wanted to look away quite badly. But the power in his dark eyes had me trained to the spot, until everything around me was fading away. I let out a long shaky breath. He must have noticed, because the edges of his mouth upturned slightly, although the intensity never left his eyes.

I nearly had an aneurysm when I heard a loud retching directly behind me, and I jumped up from the log, almost falling into the bonfire in the process. Righting myself, I turned around to a sprawled out Lucas, beer can still in hand, throwing up into a bush.

I felt dizzy, and I turned around once to look at the opposite log. The boy was gone.

Coming back to myself slightly, I had to physically stop myself from sighing in disappointment.

What the hell was wrong with me? Romantic staring contests across a burning fire? I wasn't that girl, and I had never been that girl. Setting my mouth in a thin line, I moved to Lucas, removing the can from his hand and pitching it as far away from him as my somewhat weak throwing skills would allow.

Crossing the beach, I found an abandoned bottle of water where the drinks had been set up. Probably not entirely hygienic, but it was better than the vodka which was my only other option. I found Luke where I'd left him, sitting up now with his head between his knees.

I tried to make him sit up to drink the water but he only moaned plaintively.

"For Christ's sake Lucas, if you're old enough to get yourself into this state then you're old enough to sit the hell up and drink this water NOW."

Whoa. I was becoming my mother. A scary thought.

It made him attempt to sit up though, and he chugged the water down. He looked so helpless that I began to feel a little sorry for him, and I asked if he wanted to go home. He nodded meekly, and managed to heave himself up, and we struggled back to the car with him leaning on my shoulders. We were nearly at the car when I heard a voice from behind me.

"Need some help?" It was a quiet voice, but one rich with intensity.

"No," I said shortly, the twelve stone boy leaning on my shoulders using most of my energy and preventing anything other than monosyllabic answers.

"Are you sure?"

By this time we had reached the car, and I was attempting to fumble in my bag for the keys with one hand, while helping to hold up Luke with the other.

"Yes. Jesus Christ Lucas, would you sit down or something? I couldn't find an anvil in this bag with you leaning on me like that, never mind a tiny set of keys."

Lucas slumped across the bonnet, and I exhaled in relief. The stranger laughed. I turned, furious, about to take out all my frustration on someone I didn't know, when I stopped short. It was the boy from across the bonfire. My mouth immediately began to turn upwards into a smile. He grinned at me.

Then my brain kicked into gear.

_Get a grip, Addie. He's just a random guy. _

Now I was furious again, more at myself for melting so easily at the sight of him than anything else, but he didn't need to know that.

"You think this is funny?" I spat out.

It wasn't hard to sound annoyed; the amusement was still obvious on his face and my brother was still comatose across the front of our car.

"A little."

"I'm so glad the state of my brother is hilarious to someone. I was more inclined to be worried, but I was obviously wrong. Now if you'll excuse me, I have an alcoholic to take home."

"So that's not your boyfriend then?" His grin was a mile wide now.

I just glared.

"Luke, get in the car," I hissed, now ignoring the existence of the guy completely.

He grabbed onto my shoulders, and I heaved him into the passenger seat. I leaned over to shut the door.

"I'm going to go find Aidan, okay? Stay here and I'll be back in a minute to take you home."

I stalked past the stranger, looking at the ground, at the sky… anywhere but his face. I heard footfalls behind me, then felt a warmth beside me.

"So you're new here." It wasn't a question. He was stating a fact.

I ignored him, quickening my pace. He matched it easily.

"So they don't do small talk where you come from?" I could hear the amusement in his voice again.

"Well, a statement like 'So you're new here,' doesn't really inspire a whole lot of witty banter."

He laughed aloud now.

"You're right. Let me rephrase: So you're new here. What fascinating corner of America did you move from? Why did you move? Are you going to Forks High School? Do you like it here? Do you miss where you came from? "

I stopped and turned to face him. Ignoring the pull of his eyes, I took a deep breath.

"San Francisco. My dad's career. Yes, no and yes."

I stared at him, daring him to ask anything further. He didn't. He merely stared back at me, studying my face. The smile was still there. I could feel myself freezing before his eyes again, and I shook my head slightly to clear it before walking past him.

"Since your vital questions have been answered, I have another drunk family member to round up."

I walked fast, but he was suddenly in front of me again, blocking my path.

"Not quite. I have one more."

I stared daggers at him, waiting in silence.

"You never told me your name."

His voice was soft and vulnerable. It compelled me to answer, and to answer truthfully. Without any of the smartass insults I had been planning in my head.

"Adalia George."

The emotion in his eyes was terrifying now, and I pushed past him to get away from it. He caught my hand before I could move away completely though, and I jumped at his touch. It was warm, ridiculously warm, especially on such a cold night. And his skin was so soft. However, it was more the jolt of electricity from the sensation of his skin on mine which short-circuited my brain. I looked at him stupidly. That smile was back.

"You forgot something," he whispered.

"What?"

"To ask me my name."

He grinned at me, but the emotion still there. It burned through me, taking my breath away.

The feeling was totally unfamiliar to me, I hadn't even felt it back in San Francisco when…

I wrenched my hand from his and pelted down the path to the beach. The sound of music and voices was growing louder now but I still heard his shout, loud against the quiet night.

"It's Embry Call."

Embry Call.

I ran until I hit the beach. I slowed to a halt as I got there, looking around desperately for any sign of Aidan. I spotted Dawn and Jonathan back where we had been sitting before.

"Hey, have you two seen Aidan anywhere?"

They both shook their heads, looking mystified. Jonathan slurred that they were leaving soon, so if I happened to see Hunter on my travels would I let him know. I agreed and moved further up the beach, away from the main party. There were still people around here, but they were quieter, mainly couples. I turned to leave, about to try the opposite end of the beach, when a movement in the trees caught my eye. I made my way up quietly, trying not to disturb anyone on my way.

Two guys were standing, almost completely hidden by the trees, kissing passionately.

I started, then admonished myself for being surprised. It was something you saw all the time in the city and something I didn't have a problem with, but something I just hadn't been expecting to see in such a small town. How horrifically stereotypical of me.

The guy facing me looked oddly familiar. Hunter, I realised quickly. I moved quickly to leave, not wanting to interrupt anything, when they changed their position slightly and I got a glance at the other guy. It was Aidan.

"Oh," I whispered in shock, my quiet voice loud in the seclusion of the trees.

The result was immediate. They sprang away from each other, startled, looking around wildly. Aidan saw me first, and the look on his face was terrible. I found myself leaning back on my heels in fear, anything I had been planning to say dying in my throat before it reached my lips.

"What do you want, Addie?" His voice was harsh; it was a tone he had never used with me before.

"I… er… Lucas was sick. So I'm… I'm taking him home now. I was coming to find you. To see if you, you know, wanted a lift." I stumbled over my words, hating myself for not covering up my surprise better.

"Fine. I'll be up in a minute."

He turned away, clearly dismissing me. I ran as quickly as I could through the trees, no longer caring about keeping quiet. I could vaguely see the group of frighteningly tall Quileute boys, Embry Call probably back among them, but the tears were beginning to blur my vision and I ran even faster, praying no one was watching me.

When I got back to the car Lucas was snoring loudly, his head lolling against the window. I climbed in and took deep breaths, attempting to calm myself down. Aidan's voice rang in my ears, horrifying me each time with how cold and disconnected he sounded. I fumbled for a tissue, and hastily wiped away any trace of my tears.

When the back door opened and Aidan climbed in, my face was a perfect mask. We drove home in silence.

He helped me into the house with Lucas. Luckily our parents were already in bed, and we needed to do nothing more than pull off his shoes and deposit him in his bed. When we were done, Aidan stopped outside his door, his hand on the handle. He looked at me for a long moment, and then disappeared into his room. The door shut with a click, and it rang of finality. I could feel the tears starting again, and I ran up to my room in a fury. I wasn't big on crying, and yet here I was weeping twice in the same night. I rubbed my eyes furiously in frustration, throwing myself across the bed. I was growing even angrier looking at the state my room was still in, and I briefly considered sneaking back out. Until I realised I had nowhere to go and no one to see.

I stuffed my head under a pillow and desperately wished for sleep to come quickly.

Until a rock hit off my window with a loud smack.


	5. The Love Song of J Alfred Prufrock

* * *

"_Let us go then, you and I, _

_When the evening is spread out against the sky_

_Like a patient etherised upon a table;_

_Let us go, through certain half-deserted streets…"_

- T.S. Eliot

* * *

The window didn't crack, but the noise itself was enough to make me jump about a foot in the air in shock. Attempting to compose myself, I hurried across to the window and ended up stubbing my toe on a box along the way. I screeched out in pain, before realising the entire house was asleep and clapping my hand over my mouth.

_Smooth, Addie. Real smooth._

I hopped the rest of the way to the window, my toe burning. I groaned softly when I looked outside.

Glad I hadn't changed into my pyjamas yet, I slipped back into my shoes and pulled my jacket on. Moving quietly downstairs, I stole out the front door.

"What the hell are you doing here? You know this is bordering on stalker territory, right?"

My words were a hiss, and the cold air froze my breath into a white mist which swirled around my face. Embry Call stood on the front lawn, in cut-off jeans and a t-shirt, apparently unable to feel the incapacitating cold.

"You've been crying," he said softly. Like before, he wasn't asking a question. This whole 'stating facts that should be questions' thing was really beginning to get on my nerves. My irritation couldn't prevent the blush that spread over my cheeks though, in spite of the cold. My hand involuntarily went to my eyes, as I wondered how red they looked. His eyes followed my hand, worried, but I could see the beginnings of a smile playing around his mouth. Cursing myself, I brought my hand back down.

"Why are you here?"

"Why were you crying?"

I raised my eyebrows and stared him down.

A flash of a grin before he shrugged his shoulders.

"You ran back through the bonfire looking pretty upset. I wanted to check that you were okay."

"By breaking my window?"

"You mean that's not the way you check if people are okay?"

I laughed; I couldn't help it. His answering smile was incredible, his teeth snow white against his dark skin.

"It's your turn to answer my question now," he pointed out.

I didn't speak. He waited in silence. After I saw that he wasn't going to let it go, it was my turn to shrug my shoulders.

"It's a long story."

He smiled and spread his arms wide.

"I've got time. A whole night's worth of time, actually."

"You want to stand on my front lawn and listen to me moan about the tragedy that is my life at midnight on a cold night in Forks?"

"No, I don't."

I felt the same disappointment wash over me as I'd felt when I'd looked at the log and noticed he was gone. But I made sure my face revealed nothing, and I turned to go back inside.

"I had another location in mind, actually."

He was beside me, grabbing my hand and pulling me down the driveway. I felt the shock of his skin against mine go through me again, every bit as instantaneously terrifying as the last time. I pulled my hand away. I followed him though, intrigued in spite of myself. He walked fast, and I had to sprint a little to keep up. There was no way in hell I was going to admit that to him though.

We walked through the dark town, the quick pace he kept up warming me. Forks was utterly deserted, it felt almost blasphemous to have our loud footsteps break the quiet. He didn't speak at all, and when I snuck a glance at his face he was smiling to himself. It was such a private look, so full of contentment and complete self security that I flushed and looked away again immediately. I didn't look at him again until he stopped walking. I stared at the collection of low, maroon-brick buildings.

"The location you had in mind was Forks High School?"

He laughed loudly, the sound rang in my ears. His enthusiasm was almost contagious. Almost.

He grabbed my hand and broke into a run, dragging me along with him. I didn't let go this time, mainly because I wasn't given much of a chance to. The warmth radiating from him was insane.

We went around to the side of the front office, and he jumped up onto a dumpster there. He held out his hand and I looked at it dubiously. It shook, and I glanced up to see him trying to hold in his laughter.

"You'll run straight outside when a near stranger throws a rock at your window, but you refuse to climb onto a dumpster?"

It was the first he had spoken since we left my house, and I was struck again by the melodic huskiness of his voice. In defiance, I swatted his hand away and pulled myself up beside him.

He laughed again, looking genuinely pleased as I stood up. I shot him a smile. His face froze, and my smile faltered.

"That's the first time you've smiled at me since we met," he whispered.

I blushed. A voice inside my head was screaming at me to get a grip.

Staring, crying, and now blushing?

_What was wrong with me tonight?_

From the dumpster, he jumped gracefully onto the roof of the front office. I looked up, utterly staggered. His lithe movements were in direct contrast to his extraordinarily tall form. He knelt down and offered me his hand again, smirking. There was no way I could make it to the roof alone, and he knew it. I scowled, and accepted the offer. He pulled me up with ease, perhaps not surprising considering his height and build.

He turned away from me and sat down, folding his long limbs and gazing into the distance. Suddenly unsure of myself, I sat down beside him hesitantly, following the direction of his gaze.

My eyes bulged out of my head as I took everything in. The sky was spread above us, a dusky purple-black colour, and dotted with stars. To one side was the forest, dark and beautifully haunting. To the other was Forks, the streetlights blazing like a million tiny fires against the blackness of the night. I felt time suspend as I stared, stopping itself to allow me to memorise everything about the scene.

Embry shifted slightly, and time began to move once more. I glanced over to find him watching me, taking in my reaction.

"What do you think? We can always go back and stand in your garden, if you'd prefer…"

I drew in a shaky breath.

"No, this is good."

He grinned. We sat in silence for a minute.

"So," he murmured, breaking the quiet eventually.

"So?"

"You were crying. And you don't strike me as the type who cries over a spilt drink or cheesy chickflick. So... are you okay?"

His tone was utterly sincere. But the voice in my head that had been screaming at me to get a grip was now screaming at me to shut up. This was a private family thing; it wasn't something to tell a random stranger I'd only known for a few hours, and probably not something he'd want to hear anyway.

"I'm fine."

I looked out at the forest.

He reached up with his hand and touched my cheek, moving my face around so I had no choice but to look directly at him. His eyes were penetrating. They held me fast, compelling me to spill my soul.

I sucked in my breath, and directly ignored everything my common sense was telling me to do for the first time in a long time.

"I'm not fine."

He just looked at me, waiting patiently.

"I saw my twin brother kissing someone tonight."

He looked puzzled now. I tried to go on, but my voice got stuck in my throat.

"Okay. Was it a girl you don't like, someone you think will hurt him?" he prompted me.

I shook my head.

"It wasn't a girl."

"Oh," he whispered.

"That's exactly what I said." I smiled ruefully.

"So you didn't know about this before?"

"Nope."

"And do you… I mean, have you got a problem with it?"

"No! It was the way he looked at me when I saw them…"

And it was all coming out. Everything that had happened after I walked away from Embry Call I was describing to him now, describing to him in such detail that it took my breath away. Every single feeling I'd had: the shock as I tried to twist my mind around the unfamiliar concept, the horror as I saw the way Aidan looked at me, the shattering as I felt half of myself tumble away because the one person I'd thought I knew better than anyone else in the world I didn't really know at all, and the pain because he hadn't trusted me enough to tell me something that was so important to him.

It all spilled out, and Embry sat, still and silent, absorbing everything.

When I was finished, I leaned back against the roof, exhausted. The cold was slipping through me now, stabbing painful holes in my chest as I breathed it in. I shivered.

His arm wrapped around me automatically. Too tired now to even bother making a sarcastic comment, I leaned into the warmth emanating from him.

"So," he whispered.

"So?"

"So you know what you have to do now."

"I do?"

"You do."

I sighed. Because I did know. I was just terrified that it would go wrong, and I would mess up the one thing in my life that I had always relied on to be there.

"Embry?"

"Yes?"

"Thank you," my voice was almost inaudible now, but the beatific smile that crossed his features told me he'd heard me perfectly.

He walked me home after that, his strides smaller and his pace slower than they had been on the way. My house loomed up before us, as dark and silent now as it had been when we'd left.

He stood on my doorstep as I fumbled with my keys to unlock the door. I turned to him once I'd opened it, unsure of what to say.

"Go ahead," he said in a low voice.

"Go ahead with what?"

"Asking me out. The sooner you get it over with, the better you'll feel."

I rolled my eyes in exasperation, but I saw straight through him. With that one comment he'd done what I hadn't known how to do: removed all the tension and awkwardness, returning the roles to the way they'd been at the start of the night. I smirked at him. As I did, I felt something of myself begin to return. The past hour had been like an out of body experience; it was necessary to get me to the point where I would be ready to move forwards, but my insides had been warring with each other all the way through it. One half of me was deliriously pleased to finally be able to give a little something of myself to someone else, and the other half was screaming at me in terror for allowing someone else to see that vulnerability. I had never been much of a damsel in distress, but then I had hardly ever needed to be before either.

_Hardly ever._

His face was expectant, he was clearly waiting for some kind of verbal response.

"Sorry Embry. I don't date."

"You don't date?" His hand flew to his chest in mock-surprise. "Well there's a complication I didn't see coming."

"So I guess I'll see you around then," I muttered.

"Yes. You most definitely will. Goodnight, Adalia George."

I was halfway through the door. Something compelled me to turn around.

"It's Addie," I whispered, swinging the door shut behind me. The last thing I saw was his face light up, and the last thing I felt was a curious mix of relief and heartbreak as he disappeared from view and I was enveloped in darkness.

I closed my eyes briefly, leaning against the closed door for support. Then I squared my shoulders and began my walk up the stairs to Aidan's room.

* * *

**A/N: I meant to say this at the start of the last chapter, but I forgot. Jonathan is Mike's younger brother (Addie and Aidan are the same age as Embry, Jacob and Quil in Eclipse- which is sixteen if I'm not mistaken? Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong though). I'll try and find a way to mention Jonathan's family in the story somehow, but I just wanted to clear that up in case I never get the chance to.  
To right my wrongs: MagicalFaerie, you are also amazingly awesome, thank you for all the reviews.  
And to everyone else, whoa! My reviews doubled with that last chapter, you have no idea how much you all made me smile!**


	6. A Room of One's Own

* * *

"_I thought at last that it was time to roll up the crumpled skin of the day,_

_with its arguments and its impressions and its anger and its laughter,_

_and cast it into the hedge."_

- Virginia Woolf

* * *

I knocked softly on his door. There was no answer. I went in anyway, and gaped as I took in Aidan, curled up under his duvet, snoring like a freight train. How he could sleep after a night like this was utterly beyond me. And how anyone else in the house could sleep through the noise he was making even more so. I kicked aside his legs and squished myself onto the bottom of the bed, nudging him with my foot.

He started awake, pulling himself into the sitting position with bulging eyes.

"Please don't hurt the penguin!" he cried out.

Looking around wildly and realising where he was, his shoulders relaxed and he sagged backwards.

"We are freakishly alike," I murmured.

He sighed, not looking me in the eye.

"What do you want, Addie?"

The question was a mirror of what he'd said to me earlier, but the harsh anger was missing. His voice was now devoid of any emotion, and the emptiness terrified me.

"I want…"

I stopped. What did I want exactly? My brother back, more than anything. I doubted saying that would elicit anything more than a derisive snort should I voice it out loud though.

"I want you to talk to me about this. I want you to not keep secrets from me. I want you to never look at me the way you did back there ever again."

He didn't reply, so I continued undeterred.

"I mean, you of all people know me well enough to know I'm not homophobic, so I really don't get why you couldn't tell me."

His entire body went rigid at that, and his glare was enough to make me flinch.

"I'm not doing this with you right now, Addie."

He climbed out of bed and stormed out the room, and always a sucker for punishment, I went after him. Some things would never change.

I followed him downstairs, sat on a chair in the kitchen and watched as he poured himself a glass of water. He stared out the window as he gulped it down. The rain had inevitably started again, and was now proceeding to drown our front garden to the best of its ability.

He put his empty glass in the sink, and leaned against the counter with his head in his hands.

"Please just talk to me," I whispered. I hadn't quite resorted to begging yet, but I was getting pretty damn close to it.

"I can't," he whispered back. "If I talk to you then this is going to be something I have to deal with. And I'm just barely used to admitting it to myself. I can't handle having to admit it to anyone else yet."

I nearly gave up and walked out at that. I was so close to holding up my hands in surrender. But something stopped me, pushing me forward one last time.

_You know what you have to do now._

"If you're not ready to talk about it, that's fine. I won't push it."

He nodded.

"But I just want you to know that I'm here. For when you are ready. So whenever that is, come and find me okay?"

He nodded again, the ghost of a smile on his face.

I left the room, a little relieved that I could finally go and sleep. It had been a long day. Tugging on the lever and praying it wouldn't creak as the stairs came down, I climbed up to my room.

I got changed quickly and jumped into bed. The central heating had long since went off, and it was freezing. Huddling under the covers, I tried to block out the night's events. Attempting to sort through everything in my head right now would do nothing except ensure that I would be awake thinking about it for the rest of the night.

I shifted restlessly. I heard Aidan pad back upstairs, and sat up in surprise when I heard the sound of my stairs being pulled down. I watched him come up, pulling my arms around my knees.

"Hi."

"Hi."

"Can you remember that night when we were little that we stayed awake till dawn because we thought the noise of the house creaking was the Child Catcher from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang coming to get us?" he asked.

My forehead creased as the unexpected memory came back to me. Before anyone had explained to me that old houses creaked when they were settling, I had been kept awake at nights because I was afraid that the noises were the sounds of the evil queen from Snow White, or the Wicked Witch from The Wizard of Oz or the wolf from Little Red Riding Hood coming to take me away. I had shared a room with Aidan back then, and he had woken up one night to find me cowering in the corner of my bed, surrounded by a protective fort of stuffed animals and sobbing quietly about the Child Catcher (we had watched Chitty Chitty Bang Bang that day). He had crawled in beside me, and paled when I explained about the noises. And so our mom had found us the next morning, still in that same corner, fast asleep behind the teddies.

"Yeah, I remember. I didn't feel any less scared when you were beside me, but just having someone else there calmed me down. I think being alone was the worst part."

He looked wistful, and seemed to be choosing his next words carefully.

"Well… now I'm the one behind the stuffed animals."

"Oh." I was lost for words for a second.

"I think I have the solution to your problem: the Child Catcher isn't real, Aidan. I thought you knew that by now."

His expression changed quickly from anger to amusement, and he snorted a laugh.

"See? How could you go without support like this during such a difficult time?" I said.

He laughed again, and his face softened.

"What you said before, about how you're here… I didn't expect it. I don't know why, and I was obviously underestimating you… but I didn't all the same. I guess I'm just used to dealing with this on my own."

"It's cool, I'm used to people underestimating me."

He rolled his eyes but didn't respond, giving me the chance to come up with a more satisfactory response.

"Nah, but seriously, I don't want you to be stuffed into a corner of your bed, worrying about fictional characters alone. 'Cos I am here."

"Yeah, I know. I think I knew that then too. But if I'd admitted it to myself, I wouldn't have been able to do the whole 'I'm so alone, no one understands me' cliché thing."

It was my turn to laugh.

"So can I ask the questions now?"

He leaned on his side. I threw a pillow down to him, and he made himself comfortable.

"Go ahead."

"How long have you known?"

"About a year, I guess."

"Was that why you broke up with Colette?" Colette had been his girlfriend for a couple of months back in San Francisco.

"Yeah. I'd never really been in a relationship with someone for that long before, so I didn't know for sure until then."

"And you're not into girls at all?"

"You know, you're kind of blunt sometimes, sister dear. But no, I'm not."

"Are you planning on telling the rest of our beloved family anytime soon?"

He stiffened a little at that, and I could practically hear his mind chanting to himself to calm down.

"No. I don't know how they'd … react. Probably not well, if my imagination's to be relied on."

"Oh please, your imagination also thought that me and Clayton Walker would be together forever. It's hardly something to be relied on." Clayton Walker had been Aidan's best friend in the seventh grade, and my "boyfriend" for about a week.

"Addie I never dreamed that _you'd_ take it so well, never mind anyone else. When I saw your face back at the beach I assumed that you were done with me. Like my mind was telling me you would never react like that, but your face was…" he trailed off.

"Give me a break, I was shocked! It was the last thing I expected to see."

"Exactly. You, the one who knows me best, were shocked. Can you imagine how everyone else is going to be?"

"Yes Aidan, they'll be shocked. But they're not going to feel any differently about you once they get over that shock. Jesus, our dad sells books for a living. It's hardly the most macho of professions."

"But Lucas and Jamie and Steven…"

He didn't need to go on, I got what he meant. For as long as I could remember, the three of them had always been competitive idiots when it came to "guy stuff".

"Well even if they don't like it, and I'm not saying that'll be the case, but even if they don't- they will deal with it."

He grimaced.

"Maybe. Maybe not. I'm not ready to tell anyone yet, though. Fate was clearly trying to mess me up by having you find out this early."

I was in the middle of waving a white flag of defeat when something else occurred to me.

"But wait. What about Hunter? What if he tells people?"

He smirked.

"He won't."

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because I have fifteen messages from him on my phone, all asking if you've told anyone yet and if I've talked to you to make sure you haven't. Trust me, he's hiding even further back in the closet than I am."

I laughed at that, and leaned over the bed to hug him.

"I'm glad I know now," I told him.

He bit down on his lip.

"I'm not entirely sure that I am yet. Having you know, it makes it mean something. It's more real now than it was before. Just give me some time, okay?"

"I can do that."

The clock was blinking 3:34am. I moved back to the top of the bed, and kicked him.

"You need to get out now. It's way past my bedtime."

"Night Addie," he waved as he climbed back down my stairs.

I rolled over, and fell asleep almost immediately.

I slept until 11:45am the next morning, and only woke up then because of my mom shaking me and complaining about the fact that I still hadn't unpacked.

In consequence, I spent my Saturday inhaling cup after cup of coffee, and finally sorting out my room. I wish I could say that things with Aidan were better than ever, but they were weird. At least to begin with. I chalked it up to him needing time, like he said he would, and they were a little better by the Sunday. He spent the day with me at dad's shop, unpacking books and taking inventories. It was something he would never normally do, and I realised what an effort he was making, and increased my own to match it.

It wasn't until I was lying in bed on Sunday night that I realised I hadn't heard a thing from Embry Call all weekend. The knowledge resonated with a pang, and it pissed me off that I'd registered it. I knew nothing about him, and yet here I was, hurt that I hadn't heard from him even though I'd been the one to turn him down. But he'd said I would definitely see him around. Why bother saying that if he was planning to disappear right after?

I gritted my teeth, aware of what an utter idiot I was being.

Forcing all thoughts of him from my mind, I concentrated on sleep. I can't remember the last time I'd felt so glad to feel unconsciousness coming on.

School on Monday passed in much the same dull blur as it had on Friday, with a few exceptions. Dawn came to sit by me in the couple of classes we had together, and I could feel a friendship forming. Aidan sat away from us at lunch, at the table with the girl I had noticed staring at him during our first lunch period. Hunter refused to look at me and barely spoke all the way through lunch, although I noticed his eyes drift over in Aidan's direction a couple of times. Jonathan was as present as he had been on Friday, apologising profusely for getting so drunk and barely spending any time with me at the tail-end of the bonfire.

But the biggest difference came at the end of the day, as I walked across the car park with Aidan, glad to be finally going home.

He stopped dead suddenly, and I looked up at him in confusion.

"Unless all my dreams have just been answered in a very public way, you've been keeping secrets from me, Adalia George," he whispered, pointing to our car.

I followed his indication with my eyes, and gasped involuntarily. My eyes closed, and I wondered if what I had seen was a hallucination that would disappear when I opened them again.

They opened, and the picture in front of me hadn't changed. I wavered between feelings of pleasure and irritation, genuinely unsure of which was more appropriate.

Because, leaning against my car and looking even better in daylight than he had in the dark, was Embry Call.


	7. To His Coy Mistress

* * *

"_Had we but world enough, and time…"_

- Andrew Marvell

* * *

I felt like someone had dropped a healthy amount of lead in both my shoes. Which naturally made walking across the remainder of the car park somewhat difficult. Aidan eventually grew exasperated with my snail's pace and grabbed my arm, towing me behind him. I thanked the first deity that came into my head (Buddha, as it happened) that Lucas and Jamie hadn't arrived yet.

He stopped in front of Embry, appraising him in that ridiculous way guys have. Like when girls look each other up and down and you can tell they're thinking something along the lines of "Okay, so you're kinda pretty but my hair is definitely better than yours and your shoes are _so_ last year and your mascara has smudged a little under your eyes". Only with guys it's more of a "Okay, so you have the latest sneakers and you're more built than I am, but you're also shorter and I'm pretty sure I could take you in a fight" kind of thing.

Being both huge and built seemed to work in Embry's favour though, and Aidan nodded at him coolly, offering his hand.

"Aidan. So you know my sister?" Aidan managed to introduce himself and begin the interrogation in one swift comment.

"Embry. We met at the bonfire," Embry shot straight back.

"You're from La Push?"

"Yup."

Aidan nodded again.

"I'm gonna wait in the car," he said to me, grabbing the keys from my hand and moving past Embry to climb in the passenger side.

_Just like that. So much for brotherly concern._

I had unconsciously clenched my hands into fists, and I looked down in surprise when I felt a stabbing pain shoot through them. My nails had left marks in the soft skin of my palms. Somewhere in the middle of his short conversation with my brother, my initial joy in seeing him had faded, allowing the more prominent feeling of irritation to win out.

"I can't believe I'm having to ask you this for the second time in under a week. But what the hell are you doing here?"

"I did say I would see you around," he grinned.

"Yes, but I didn't think 'around' was La Push slang for 'my car'. And how did you even know it was my car in the first place?"

My voice had raised in my incredulity, and I could feel the glances of people walking past settling on us. I made an effort to calm down, taking a deep breath before focusing my eyes on him again.

"It was sitting in your driveway on Friday night."

"Oh."

"You seem surprised."

"Well, that was a fairly normal answer in an extremely odd situation. So yeah, I guess you could say I'm a little surprised."

He laughed loudly, and I saw the attention of several more passers-by settle on us.

"Let me walk you home." His voice was hopeful.

I snorted, then looked at his face. He looked perfectly serious for once.

"Oh, you're not kidding?"

"Nope."

"I assume you have a reason as to why I should walk home when you're leaning against a perfectly good car that I could use instead?"

"Actually, I have several."

He was smiling again.

"Exercise, for one. Walking is much better for you than driving."

I rolled my eyes.

"The environment for another. Now, I don't really know much about it, but I have to guess that walking is going to be better for the ozone layer than driving."

"My brothers are going to be driving home whether I'm there or not," I pointed out.

"So lead by example. Maybe people will see you walking and decide to try it out for themselves."

I tilted my head to the side, widening my eyes and twisting my mouth in what I hoped was my best 'you are quite obviously clinically insane' look.

He laughed, but continued anyway.

"Lastly, the amazing company. When I'm not traipsing around weirding out girls I hardly know, I'm actually quite a decent person to have around."

I didn't expect that response, and I laughed, long and loud. It felt good, especially after the weekend I'd had. I think I got lost in the giddiness of the moment, since that's the only reason I can come up with to explain why I knocked on the car window and shouted to Aidan to warn everyone I'd be walking home.

I started walking immediately, not looking behind me to see if Embry was following. I didn't hear him approach; for such a tall guy he was extremely soft on his feet; and I couldn't help the yelp of surprise that fell out of my mouth as I felt arms grip my shoulders, turning me in the opposite direction.

"You were going the wrong way," he stifled a laugh.

"I've never walked home before," I muttered, embarrassed.

I began walking furiously in the direction he had pointed me in, while he walked easily beside me. He didn't talk, and neither did I. The silence was still in place by the time we hit the main street, and I began to get frustrated.

"I gotta say, I'm a little disappointed. I thought I was going to be dazzled by your amazing company?"

My voice sounded loud after the prolonged quiet.

He laughed. It was a nice sound, one that seemed to envelope everything around it in a bid to share its happiness.

"Well, my plan only went as far as getting you to agree to come with me. I figured the rest would just fall into place afterwards."

"And is it? Falling into place, I mean?"

"Not really." He smiled in spite of the negative comment he was making.

"Believe it or not, I don't actually do this very often. So I'm kinda nervous…" He trailed off, and I could have sworn I saw a blush working its way across his face.

"Don't do what very often? Chase around girls you hardly know and beg them to spend time with you?"

"Well… yeah."

"Of course, because you seem like the retiring type. Throwing rocks at people's windows, leaning against people's cars: you're right, it all points to a crippling shyness." My sarcasm would have annoyed any normal person to the point of ditching me by now, but he merely waved his hand, as if batting it away.

"I'm honestly not normally this forward. Or this annoyingly persistent. It's just… I dunno how to explain it…"

I raised my eyebrows. I was walking more slowly now, concentrating on our conversation, and he had shortened his strides to match mine.

"Try."

He seemed to be undergoing some kind of painful internal battle, his eyes were conflicted as he stared at me. People on the street were jumping out of our way so as not to be taken down by his bulk, but he paid them no mind. I stared back, almost tripping over a streetlight in the process. Something filtered into his face as I looked at him, something I later categorised as resolve.

"I've lived in La Push for a long time, and ever since I can remember we've had those bonfires. Kids our age from Forks have been coming down since the beginning, but I never really paid them any attention before." He stopped there.

"Uh huh…"

"Look, I'm trying really hard not to freak you out here. I'm getting the feeling that if I do that, you're going to disappear and I'll never see you again. Can't we just say that I saw a pretty girl across the bonfire and that something in me compelled me to talk to her?"

I blushed, but my eyes didn't leave his face. I felt as though I was falling into him, totally losing all sense of time and place in the process. It was almost a relief when a familiar, delicious smell hit my nostrils, and I whipped my head around, attempting to find its source.

"What?" he asked, looking confused.

"Coffee," I murmured.

"You like coffee?"

"I'm not sure that 'like' is the right word. Coffee is pretty much on the same par as oxygen for me."

He face lit up like I'd just told him my deepest secret, and he started to cross the road. I followed, and my face lit up in turn when I saw the little coffee shop he stopped in front of.

He bought me a vanilla latte to take away, and we continued on our way to my house. He asked me about other foods and drinks that I liked and disliked, reacting to each piece of information like it was the most interesting thing he'd ever heard.

It wasn't too long before I put a stop to it, his reactions were starting to make me blush again.

"Enough," I said, with as much decisiveness as I could muster between sips of vanilla-y goodness.

"Enough?"

"It's your turn to share some embarrassingly insignificant details about yourself while I listen."

He thought it over.

"Okay… I hate Brussels sprouts."

"No way. You're not getting off that easily. Besides, everyone hates Brussels sprouts. You might as well have said that the sky's blue or that baby girls wear pink."

We were walking up the path to my house at this stage, and without thinking, I sat down on the steps and waited for him to reply. He looked surprised, but pleasantly so, and sat down beside me.

"I live with my mom, and I have no idea who my dad is. There's loads of local gossip about it. They say he's one of three options, and all three options are the fathers of my best friends, all of whom were married at the time I was born.  
But in spite of that, my friends are more like brothers to me. I couldn't imagine spending my time with a better group of people.  
I hate getting up early in the morning, and I sleep like the dead. My mom has to practically hit me across the head with a sledgehammer to get me up for school.  
I love stand-up comedy, and having the house to myself so I can blare music at a pointlessly loud volume.  
Brussels sprouts are genuinely the only food I hate, I'll eat pretty much anything else.  
Oh and my guilty pleasure is Wimbledon. It's the only time of year when I'll willingly get out of bed at a half-decent hour so I can watch it."

I was a little lost for words. I realised I'd been watching him with my mouth hanging open throughout his whole speech, and I shut it quickly.

"That was… wow."

He flushed and grinned.

"I'm sorry about your dad."

I wasn't sure if that was the best thing to say, but I didn't want to ignore what he'd said. It must have taken a fair amount of guts to tell someone he barely knew. It seemed to do okay though, and he smiled in gratitude.

"Your brother's staring at me through the window," he murmured.

I looked around quickly, and noticed Aidan watching us, totally unabashed by the glare I immediately shot him.

"You two are okay now? You seemed close enough in the car park," Embry asked quietly.

"We're fine. I think."

I felt a coldness sweep over me as I remembered the scene in the woods that night, and I worked to push it out of my mind.

"Yeah, I also figured you didn't want to talk about it much, or else I'd have brought it up sooner."

I flashed him a smile of gratitude of my own, and he stood up, stretching his legs.

"He's still staring, I'm taking that as my cue to leave," he explained when I looked up at him questioningly.

"Okay. So I'll…" I let my sentence go unfinished, unsure of what to say.

"See me around?"

"I'm assuming so."

"You assume right. See you later, Addie."

It was the first time he'd said my name today, and I felt a shiver spread through me as I registered it.

I let myself back into the house, running straight up to my room to avoid Aidan's accusatory glares. He tried to ask me several times about Embry during the course of the night, never in front of our parents, and always when I was least expecting it. I deflected his questions though, not quite ready to talk about him to anyone yet for reasons I couldn't even explain to myself.

I wasn't surprised when I found Embry in the exact same position at the end of the next school day, and I chucked the keys at Aidan without a fight this time, before taking off in the correct direction.

As the week progressed, so did our afternoons. By Wednesday we had actually started sitting in the coffee shop, although I was always careful to be home before my parents. By Thursday I had grown used to the sight of him leaning against my car; I had even come to expect it. We were settling into a routine, and although I would never admit it to him, it was one I was starting to enjoy.

It felt like… it fit. When I was around him. If I was in a bad mood, he would talk me down with his irrepressible laughter. If I was being a bitch for no discernible reason like I was sometimes (okay, more than sometimes) prone to do, he shot my sarcasm right back at me with a zinging wit of his own until I eventually admitted defeat and calmed down.

He hadn't made any attempt to ask me out again, which I was grateful for. I genuinely wasn't sure how I would react, and I wasn't quite ready for him to test the water yet. I liked the balance that we were keeping. I liked the little details I was gradually learning about him. And I especially liked the fact that I now had something to look forward to each day in this rain-filled hole.

I guess I should have seen the disruption in our balance coming a mile away; nothing like that could stay static for long.

But I didn't.

I was too wrapped up to notice it coming, and I was totally unprepared when it hit.

--

**A/N: I'm really sorry these past few chapters have been so dialogue-fuelled, but I really want to build up characters and relationships and everything before I plunge into all the drama. Which is getting undeniably closer, trust me.  
The reviews have been mind-blowing, you're all such sweethearts. I really can't thank all of you enough.  
AND, if anyone feels like partying with me that Rafael Nadal just made it through to the third round of the Olympics tennis, please feel free to do so :)**


	8. East of Eden

**Sorry this one took me so long to put up, it was unbelievably hard for me to write. If you're of a sensitive disposition, you might want to look away now. It's probably not very explicit by some people's standards, but it's the darkest chapter of this story so far (and hopefully as dark as I'm required to get, I didn't enjoy writing it at all).**

* * *

"_Aron couldn't stand to know about his mother because that's not how he wanted the story to go -_

_and he wouldn't have any other story._

_So he tore up the world."_

- John Steinbeck

* * *

Friday was the day that everything was different.

It wasn't raining, but the air hung close and heavy. The sky was overcast, darker than I had ever seen it during the day. It added an otherworldly glow to normal classrooms during school, and I jumped at the shadows flickering in corners.

Friday was the day that everything changed.

--

Aidan sat with us at lunch for the first time that week, and the tension radiating from Hunter was palpable. It only served to add to the claustrophobic atmosphere. Jonathan, who I'm sure could feel the conflict in the air even though he didn't understand its cause, turned to me in an attempt to have a normal conversation.

"So, I thought you didn't date," he opened with.

I felt my body stiffen. I noticed Aidan, who had been concentrating on counting the ceiling tiles, swing his head round towards us with interest in his eyes.

"I don't," I muttered, staring down at my lunch and praying that he would let it die.

"So you're not seeing that kid from La Push who appears at your car every day?"

My heart stuttered at the reference to Embry. This was the first time anyone bar Aidan had mentioned him to me.

"Oh who are you kidding Jonathan? That 'kid' is the same age as us and could probably knock you over with his pinkie finger," Dawn interjected.

I paused my internal panicking to grin at her, relieved. Jonathan wasn't to be distracted though.

"Whatever. So are you?"

"No, I'm not."

"What's up with him showing up here then?"

"Yeah Addie, what's up with that?" Aidan chimed in.

I had been ignoring his questions about Embry all week, and I could tell he was ecstatic about being presented with a situation where he could pester me all he wanted and I would have to give some form of an answer.

"I dunno… we're friends I guess."

"I'm your friend, and I don't lean against your car at the end of each school day," Jonathan pointed out.

"But I have the pleasure of seeing your face in this hellhole every day. Since he doesn't go to this school, if he didn't magically appear at my car I would never get to see him."

"Well, I don't like it," Jonathan muttered, more to himself than anyone else.

He was quiet for the rest of the day, only murmuring about La Push gangs and cults when I asked him what was wrong.

--

_Bloody typical._

It was raining. And it was also the last five minutes of the school day.

I had yet to endure a walk home from school in the rain. Every other day this week the rain had miraculously stopped before or started after my walk home with Embry.

I glared darkly at the scene outside. I had seen a lot of rain during the week I'd spent in Forks, but the sheer violence of it had never ceased to amaze me. It pounded against the sidewalk with a ferocity that almost made me tremble.

_There is no way in hell I'm walking home in that._

--

I wrapped my arms around myself and pushed my head farther back into my hood as I walked across the car park.

Any doubt that I might have had about Embry not showing up because of the rain disappeared abruptly as my car came into view. He was standing beside it as normal, the rain soaking through his white t-shirt. I couldn't prevent the grin that stole over my face when I noticed him standing there, and I tried my best to look stern as I approached him.

"Embry Call, just because you don't seem to care whether you get pneumonia or not doesn't mean I feel the same way."

He smiled, and moved his hands from behind his back.

He was holding a giant umbrella.

--

"Enough," my mom hissed, slamming down her fork.

"Everyone, clear out now. We need to talk to Addie privately," my dad's voice was slightly calmer, but the anger was equally evident in his eyes.

Jamie looked at his half-finished dinner with some regret, but the look on my mom's face had him scampering quickly out of the room behind Aidan and Lucas.

_Lucas._

This was all his fault. He just _had_ to bring up the subject of Embry over dinner, causing my mom to utterly freak out over my new "boyfriend". It didn't help that Luke had also shared a few choice details about Embry's appearance, and opinions the small minds of Forks had about the La Push boys.

I wished I could go back in time a couple of hours, to the ignorant bliss that was this afternoon's hour with Embry. We had reached our most important conversation topic today: books. He didn't read much outside of school, and I was desperately trying to convince him that this was a form of blasphemy he should do something to change. I had managed to wrangle a promise from him to give 'East of Eden' a shot, by promising in turn to get over my fear of motorbikes and get on the back of his at some point.

Lucas had given me a weird look when I got in, completely drenched in spite of the umbrella, and had pointedly asked if I'd had fun helping at dad's store (the excuse I had been using all week to explain why I was walking home). He hadn't even waited for an answer; leaving the room immediately after he asked. Aidan had quietly explained that Lucas and Jamie had arrived at the car in time to see me walking away with Embry, and had spent the entire afternoon bombarding him with questions.

"No one but me bugs you about this guy for the whole week, then suddenly Jonathan and Lucas ask you about it within a couple of hours. Must be your lucky day, Addie."

--

"Just what exactly do you think you're doing, Adalia?"

My mom's voice was harsh. I looked up at her, wanting to see the worry in her eyes that was clouding her judgement, but instead I saw only the disbelief and rage.

It was an expression that took me back to that night in San Francisco, a year ago now.

--

_I was drunk. I was so drunk. _

_My legs felt elastic. I had already fallen down a few times. I was embarrassed the first time, I could remember that much._

_The next time though… well, it was much more blurry._

_In fact, everything was blurry._

_I was drunk. I was so drunk._

_I remembered faces looking at me, remembered them vaguely._

_The faces weren't surprised; this was hardly the first time I had gotten myself into this state._

_But this was different._

_I felt an arm around me this time._

_I looked up into a face I recognised. A face I loved?_

_I was drunk. I was so drunk._

_He pulled me into an empty room._

_I stumbled again._

_He had to walk for me, I couldn't do it for myself._

_I was drunk. I was so drunk._

_I was on a bed now._

_The cover was soft beneath my body, and I felt like I was falling into a world of cotton-candy._

_Everything was warm and safe and perfect…_

_Except my belt was on the floor. My favourite black belt. Did I put it on the floor? Why would I put it on the floor?_

_I was drunk. I was so drunk._

_I raised my hands to my head, as though holding them to my temples would make sense of anything I'd said or done in the past couple of hours._

_My arms hit something in front of my face._

_Oh. _

_I wasn't alone. Kyle was still here. I had known that. I'd just… forgotten._

_I was drunk. I was so drunk._

_Why was my belt off though?_

_He wasn't. He wouldn't._

_We had talked about this…_

_We had talked about this just a few days ago._

_He knew. I told him I wasn't ready. I told him that._

_So this was…_

_The cotton candy had disappeared, and I was lying on a bed of nails._

_His hands were moving down below my waist now._

_I couldn't move, couldn't speak, could barely think._

_It hurt._

_--_

I had woken up curled into him the next morning, in an unfamiliar bedroom.

Kyle was still asleep, and he had looked so peaceful that I had lain still for a few minutes, just watching him breathe evenly in and out. I had smiled softly at his heavy snoring, wondering how I'd slept through it.

We had been a couple for a little over three months, and in the weeks previous to that night we had been fighting a lot. Over sex, ironically enough. He didn't understand why I was holding fast to my virginity, why I wasn't about to just give it up to the first guy who put up with me for longer than a month. I had drawn my hand gently over his sleeping face, and tried to think of some way I could apologise for being such a bitch during our arguments.

And then I had tried to move. The pain between my legs had brought the night before crashing back to me, and my stifled whimper had woken him up. Almost simultaneously, I had noticed the small amount of spattered blood on the sheet. Realising what had happened even through the gaps in my blurred memory, I had jumped from the bed, tried my hardest not to moan aloud at the pain, and put as much distance between us as possible.

We fought that morning, the worst fight I've ever had in my entire life. His basic stance was that I hadn't stopped him the night before, so I had no right to be upset the morning after.

My basic stance was that I had been too drunk to know what I was doing, and he had taken advantage of that, knowing full well I wasn't ready.

But somewhere in the middle of the argument, my overwhelming sense that he was wrong and I was right had failed me, and I had fled the room in tears.

I had ran for the refuge of home, glad to find the house empty. I had curled up on my bedroom floor, and wept huge wracking sobs that shook my body and shattered my conviction.

And so Aidan had found me a couple of hours later, still sobbing nonsensically.

When he eventually pulled the story out of me, he had gotten up and left the room without a word. The reaction had finally stopped my sobs, and my thoughts whirled around my head as I sat, terrified that he hadn't believed me and had stormed out in disgust.

The next thing I was aware of was my mom's frantic shouting as she bellowed up the stairs for me to come down and get in the car. We had driven to the police station, where Aidan was being held for beating Kyle senseless. Because they were both juniors, and no real harm had been caused (although this certainly wasn't through lack of trying) the punishment was left up to my parents and Aidan was released.

The drive home was quiet. Aidan was perfectly calm, utterly convinced that he had done the right thing. I had rested my head on his shoulder, and basked in the warmth of knowing that I had someone in my life who was there for me so completely that a single flicker of doubt had never entered his mind.

All hell had broken loose when we arrived home. My mom, tempestuous at the best of times, had screamed until her throat was hoarse. All through her ranting, I had been waging a silent battle within myself. I had sworn to myself that I would never tell anyone bar Aidan the events of the previous night, and Aidan only because he knew me too well for me to hide it. But sitting there, listening to her drag him over burning coals for being a thug…

Something within me had snapped, and I had found myself on my feet. My voice had rang out over hers, and my hands had shook as I began my story.

My dad had been furious, quite keen to hunt Kyle down and inflict the damage Aidan hadn't quite managed. But my mom…

My mom had slumped into her seat, finally silenced. She had stared at me while the storm of my father and brother's rage broke over us, and I had seen the doubt in her eyes.

--

"You will not see that boy again Addie, do you hear me?"

My mom's voice jolted me back into the present, and I stared up at her in shock; I hadn't been expecting that conclusion.

"You can't do that, mom. He's just a friend."

"And you think it's your friendship he wants? A teenage boy mixed up in some kind of steroid gang? Tell me you're not naïve enough to believe that," she spat out.

I slammed up to my room at that, refusing to listen to any more of her crap.

Déjà vu rolled over me in waves as I crumpled on my floor, taking me back to that long ago morning that I'd tried so hard to block out.

"You know, I could come out the closet to mom and dad right now. That would probably distract attention from you for a little while." Aidan pulled himself up the stairs and into my room, joining me on the floor.

I tried to smile, but my heart just wasn't in it.

"You and mom…" he began, but stopped when he saw the look on my face.

"Me and mom nothing, Aidan. She has no right to try and force her rules on me now, after the fucking interrogation she put me through last year to make sure I wasn't lying."

"Okay, okay," he held up his hands in mock surrender.

He wrapped his arms around me, and we sat that way in silence for a long time.

--

Raised voices from downstairs woke me from sleep, and I gazed around my room, slightly disoriented. After Aidan had left me last night, I had fallen asleep fully clothed on top of my covers.

One of the voices was my mom's and the other was a male voice, too deep to be any of my brothers and too husky to be my dad's.

Embry. At my house. After last night...

Oh God.

As soon as my brain registered the thought I was on my feet and flying down the stairs, attempting to mentally prepare myself for whatever I'd find when I reached the bottom.

--

**And so, voila. Addie's big secret. I know a couple of things haven't been explained fully, but she's going to have to tell Embry about this at some point (right?) so hopefully any loose ends with her past will be tied up there.  
Right now I think I'm going to have to go and Google 'rainbows and kittens' or something to cheer myself up, because writing that depressed the arse off me. I hope it came off okay though, I always knew I would have a hard time writing it but I wanted it to have happened all the same. So please let me know what you think of this one, I'm actually utterly terrified that everyone will hate it...**


	9. Doctor Faustus

* * *

"_Was this the face that launch'd a thousand ships,_

_And burnt the topless towers of Ilium?_

_Sweet Helen, make me immortal with a kiss."_

_-_ Christopher Marlowe

* * *

I took the stairs two at a time and stumbled across our front hall to where my mother stood at the door. Embry was in the doorway, his huge frame preventing my mom from shutting the door on him. His expression was somewhat bewildered, and I distinctly heard my mom make a steroid reference as I moved up behind her. I groaned at the direction their conversation seemed to be taking, and they both jumped in surprise as they noticed me.

My mom glared at me, infuriated, and Embry's face was twisted in confusion. He looked so adorably lost…

I fought hard against the need to immediately wrap him in a hug. This really was getting ridiculous. It was one thing to look forward to coffee with him at the end of the school day (I could blame at least part of that irrational desire on the coffee) but to get sentimental urges from just one look at him? That just wasn't on.

"Go back to your room, Addie," my mom's voice was flat, betraying none of the emotion which played across her face.

I planted my feet and placed my hands on my hips. Just because I wasn't about to get all hug-happy at the sight of him didn't mean I wouldn't do battle with my mom over my right to have him as a friend.

"No."

She made a face oddly reminiscent of someone swallowing acid. Not that I've ever seen someone swallow acid, but her current expression is roughly how I imagine it would go.

"Then kindly explain to your friend that you won't be able to see him again and say goodbye."

That same flat voice again. I think I would have been less infuriated if she had yelled at me.

I stared at her, silently refusing to speak until she left. After a couple of minutes of staring right back at me, she sighed.

"You have two minutes," she said as she walked through to the front room, towards the sound of morning news blaring from the television. I took her place in front of the doorway.

"Hi," Embry murmured, his husky voice full of questions as he looked at me.

"Hi," I replied, the relative emptiness of my own voice surprising me; I sounded like a younger version of my mom. I tried to smile in an attempt to rectify it.

"So your mom hates me."

A statement instead of a question again. It was incessantly annoying. Why couldn't he just leave out the obvious statements and hit the point he was trying to make right away? I rolled my eyes at him, a mild expression of my inner annoyance.

"That was my invitation for you to explain why your mom hates me," he smirked.

"I don't date. And she thinks we're dating. It's pretty simple really."

"You could just tell her that you cold-heartedly turned me down the first time I asked you out, and that you aren't interested in me in that way at all… because, as much as the mere suggestion of that kills me, I can deal with it as long as I get to see you again."

"I already did… well, I told her the first part."

He grinned widely, his dark eyes dancing with pleasure.

"That doesn't mean the second part isn't true," I admonished, trying to control the mad blush which crept over my features.

"She believes me, but she doesn't trust you. Or so she says." I continued, unable to keep a faint tone of bitterness from colouring my voice.

He looked genuinely puzzled when he asked why.

"Because you look like that," I replied instantaneously. I spoke bluntly, without really pausing to think over my answer before blurting it out. The grin appeared again before he spoke, his voice low.

"Look like what, Addie?"

"You know… really … tall… and stuff."

He laughed.

"And your mom would prefer that you were friends with midgets?"

"No. It's just… she heard… people around here talk about things…"

I hated how much I was stumbling over my words. It wasn't like me. But I couldn't stop a feeling of hopelessness from seeping into my brain, and it seemed to be affecting my speech patterns. I was so absorbed in berating myself for not talking normally that I didn't notice his face turn to stone.

"Maybe people shouldn't always believe what they hear."

His harsh tone brought me back to myself, and I focused on his face. I was a little startled by the anger I saw there, and I thought back to my dread of small-town minds when we first arrived here. I guess it wasn't only people from larger cities who got annoyed by them.

"That's two minutes now, Addie," my mom called from the front room.

I paused for a second to absorb what she'd said, and when I looked back at Embry's face it was composed once more.

"Why are you even here in the first place?" I asked, the thought genuinely just occuring to me.

"My special Batman-sense told me that you were in trouble and I thought I'd stop by to see if I could help."

I gaped at him.

"I'm kidding…"

Oh. Of course. My brain was seriously turning to mush.

"I came by to tell you that you owe me a motorbike ride."

He withdrew his hand from behind his back, producing a copy of 'East of Eden'.

"My mom had it. I finished it at about an hour ago."

I gaped again, my face only returning to normal when I heard my mom shout that she was coming to slam the front door for me if I couldn't do it myself in the next minute. Embry took a step forward. We were almost touching now.

"Can I come see you at school again? Your mom won't be there." His voice had taken on a new sense of urgency.

"She won't, no. But my brothers will be."

"So what then, Addie? This is it?" He looked frustrated by my defeated tone.

"I guess so," I spoke no louder than a whisper now, but our close proximity ensured that he heard me.

I stared up at his face, attempting to memorise every last detail of it. The way the morning sun was reflected in his dark eyes, the small scar above his left eyebrow, his high cheekbones and strong jaw line, the way his lips always curved upwards slightly at the corners, even when he wasn't smiling. He moved his face closer to mine, and I thought for one delirious moment that he was going to kiss me. But his face moved straight past mine and he swept me into a fierce hug.

"I'm not giving up that easily." His mouth moved close to my ear, his breath warm.

And then he was letting me go, turning away, walking down the path, and disappearing from view. My arms hung limply by my sides, and I must have stood completely frozen for a good minute before my mom moved me out of the way to shut the door.

"It's for your own good," she said, watching my face carefully.

I said nothing as I brushed past her and made my way to the kitchen for a bowl of cereal. Taking it back to my bedroom with me, I caught a brief glance of myself in the mirror as I climbed back into bed to eat. I bit down on my lip as I took in my crumpled clothes, the black smudges under my eyes from smeared eyeliner and the hair sticking out in every possible direction. I threw a shirt over the mirror to cover the image, trying without much success to block out the thought that Embry Call had just seen me looking like this. His promise that he wasn't giving up that easily seemed all the more unbelievable now.

Wolfing down the cereal, I left the bowl on my desk and went downstairs for a shower. Feeling almost human again when I emerged, I dressed quickly and plaited my hair to avoid having to dry and straighten it. When I went back downstairs, I found Lucas passed out on the couch with a rerun of 'Friends' now playing on the TV.

My mom was in the kitchen, talking to Jamie. Dad and Aidan were nowhere to be found.

"Is dad at the shop?" I asked, inspecting my nails so I didn't have to look at her face.

Jamie answered in the affirmative.

"Okay, I'm going down there for a while," I announced to the room at large, turning to go.

"Wait Addie. Why don't I drive you?" My mom's voice was falsely cheerful.

"Because I have my own car?" I walked out, not waiting for a response.

I heard footsteps behind me, but I refused to turn around. I was almost spitting in frustration when I climbed into the car and my mom got in the passenger side.

"Well you can drive me, I was thinking about going down today anyway," she said by way of explanation when she climbed in.

"Really mom? That's good to know, because I almost thought for a minute that you were acting like a five year old and trailing me to make sure I actually go to the shop instead of going to see Embry."

She pursed her lips in a thin line, but didn't speak. I drove in silence, staring straight ahead. She threw out a couple of "I'm only doing this because I care for you," and other related pieces of bullshit along the way, all of which I ignored.

I stared wistfully at the coffee shop across the street when we climbed out, before hurrying into the shop.

The progress my dad had made since we'd gotten here was insane. The dozens of bookshelves had now been built and filled with books, a small collection of armchairs and little tables dispersed among them. I inhaled deeply, the familiar scent of new books washing over me as I wandered the aisles in my search for something to read, leaving my mom to go into the back room to find my dad.

It was only then that I remembered the book with the Quileute legends, which I'd left in the car. I shouted to the back room that I was going to fetch it and some coffee from across the street before walking outside. I had put the keys in the lock before I even registered the motorcycle parked behind the car. It took me another second to register the fact that Embry was leaning against it. My eyes widened to such an extent that I felt sure they would need some sort of medical appliance to return to normal size. He just smirked at me, and patted the seat.

"I believe we have a deal."

I removed the keys from the lock and moved over to him. I think the sheer shock over the unexpected sight of him is the only way to explain what happened next, but I can't be sure because my brain had disconnected from the rest of my body by that point.

I stood in front of him and in one fluid movement reached my hands up to his face, and pulled his mouth down to meet mine. I could almost taste his surprise as his lips froze in that second, then felt him come back to himself as they began to move in time with mine. His arms wrapped around me, his hands caressing my back as he pulled me closer, and I leaned into him, my hands twisting slowly in his hair. His lips were soft, unbearably soft. So soft that the raw fever with which they moved was a shock straight through my system.

The moment stretched on, seemingly infinite.

I eventually pulled away, my breath hitching as I tried to smile and speak like a normal person. I blinked a few times to remove the stars fluttering in front of my vision. He recovered faster, moving his mouth around to my ear.

"I knew it," he whispered, before gently placing little kisses down my neck.

"Knew what?" My question was involuntary breathless.

"I knew you couldn't resist me."

I very nearly giggled, before my brain resumed working and pulled me up shortly. My mom would be coming outside to find me if I didn't move quickly, it furiously reminded me. I disentangled myself from him, immediately missing the unbelievable heat of his body as I hopped on the motorbike.

He looked at me, that same stupid grin I'd seen him smile a thousand times before on his face again; only this time it was magnified by an uncountable amount.

"Well?" I asked, raising my eyebrows.

"Well?" he echoed.

"You're going to take me somewhere so we can sit and fully discuss the themes of 'East of Eden' so I know for sure you held up your end of the deal."

He jumped on the bike in front of me, instructing me to wrap my arms around him before bringing it to life.

The street blurred around me as we took off, the wind whipping my face. I threw my head back and laughed at the exhilaration which shot through me, the engine vibrating through my body in time to the erratic beating of my heart.

--

**The reviews for the past couple of chapters have genuinely made me do mad happy dancing around my room. And I'm not the most coordinated of people, so it wasn't a pretty sight.  
My point? You are all AMAZING. Every single one of your comments meant so much to me, especially those for that last chapter. Thank you so much for sticking with this, I hope you enjoyed reading this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it!**


	10. Lucas

**A/N: This chapter is called Lucas because I got the quote at the beginning from a book called 'Lucas' (and I always name my chapters after whichever poem/novel I take the quote from), so it actually has nothing to do with her brother. Sorry for any confusion that might cause.  
Also, 100+ reviews? You have got to be freaking kidding me. I might need someone to slap my face and wake me from my shocked stupor at some stage. Really, honestly, you people are the most wonderful people in the entire world.  
And finally, as a warning: this chapter is a little fluffy. I hope none of you are hardcore cynics...**

* * *

"_Is this what it's supposed to be like? Is this how it's supposed to feel?_

_Like a rollercoaster?_

_Like a lifetime's emotions squeezed into a single minute?_

_Like heaven and hell, sweet and sour, light and dark?_

_Like losing your mind?"_

- Kevin Brooks

* * *

My stomach had long ago resituated itself in my throat, my knuckles were white from gripping tightly to Embry's laughing form, and my breathing had decided to abandon its regular pattern and was now coming in short gulps as I tried to grab oxygen from the air flying past us. Every single one of my body's reactions indicated terror, but I felt none of it.

Pure adrenaline was flowing through my veins, and a flush rose on my cheeks in spite of the cold wind lashing at them. The forest passed us in a beautiful green blur; my head was constantly twisted to the side in order to better watch it go by.

When we stopped, it was too soon. Much, much too soon. I stayed motionless on the back of the bike, and Embry eventually had to peel my hands from around his waist and lift me off.

"Are you okay?" He looked concerned.

I laughed loudly, the excitement flowing out of me.

"That was _amazing._ I can't believe I was almost too scared to do that!" My voice was throaty after breathing in air that moved past me at such a high speed for so long.

He looked pleased; immeasurably so.

"Excellent, I'll have you cliff-diving in no time," he winked as he pointed behind me.

It was only then that I actually opened my eyes to our surroundings, and I fought back a gasp of recognition as I realised we were right back where we'd started: at the beach where I'd first seen him. It looked different without the dark night and flickering firelight to set it off. More… normal somehow. Which was odd, because there was nothing about this current situation that felt normal to me.

I followed his point and saw the immense cliffs towering over everything, the sea lapping menacingly at their base.

I snorted.

"Yeah, that's not happening. At all. Ever."

He grabbed my hand, twined his fingers around mine and pulled me down the beach with him. I was surprised by the gesture, and my eyes immediately flicked to his face and gave this away. He caught me looking and grinned.

"Oh, so it's okay that you randomly kiss me whenever you feel like it but I can't hold your hand?"

I smiled at the insanity of it and didn't respond because, as usual, he was right.

We moved down the beach slowly. It was a dull day, and while there was no rain, the wind was fierce. I used my free hand to pull my hair out of its plaits, allowing the wind to dry it into the soft waves it had already began to form.

We stopped at the remains of bonfire; the massive area of charred earth was still surrounded by the circle of logs. He sat down on one, pulling me down beside him and wrapping his arm around me.

I jolted unconsciously at his touch again and sighed. All these little affectionate movements seemed to come so easily to him, yet my brain had to practically abandon the rest of my body before I could even consider kissing him. I felt him stiffen at my sigh, and tentatively leaned my head against the crook of his arm to show that it hadn't been because of the contact.

"You seem constantly surprised whenever I come within a foot of you. Is it… do you want me to back off a little?" he asked quietly.

I had to remind myself that I had only known him a week then, because it honestly felt as though he could read my thoughts. Even Aidan could never have been this perceptive so quickly, and we had shared a womb, for Christ's sake.

"No!"

My own vehemence surprised me.

He laughed, twirled his fingers in my hair while murmuring "Good."

"It's just that… I'm not good at this. I used to be good at this, but now…" I shrugged my shoulders as best I could while still in his embrace. My mind was caught up in frenzied thoughts.

_I used to be good at this, but now…_

I knew that sentence would bring on questions. I knew he would ask what had happened to make things this way for me, in that gloriously husky voice that seemed to both plead and reassure at the same time.

But could I tell him?

Would he wish I had kept my mouth shut if I let the secret out? Wish that it was something he'd never found out about because it was something that required acknowledgement, and once he knew, there was no way to take back the knowledge? It would be something he would have to deal with. Would he thank me for forcing that upon him?

I had to constantly remind myself that I'd only known him a week. It was beyond insane and into the valley of the terminally deluded to even think about telling someone I'd only known a week a story that personal.

I couldn't. Aside from the trust issues that I wasn't quite ready to get over yet, I wasn't going to burden him with my crap. It just wasn't fair.

All through this thought process I felt his eyes on me, but it was only now that I looked up and met his gaze. His eyes were curious, but patient. I sighed again, half smiled.

"Too soon to tell me?"

"How do you do that?" I breathed.

"Do what?"

"Know what I'm thinking, almost before I know what I'm thinking."

He grinned, but didn't answer. I asked him what he was thinking, and he grinned some more but still wouldn't tell me. After several minutes of this, I pulled off the white scarf I'd been wearing around my neck and waved it in his face.

"Fine. I give up. This just means the 'East of Eden' discussion has to start sooner though."

"You still don't believe that I've read it, do you?"

"Nope. So tell me your favourite part and prove me wrong."

I tilted my head back so I could send him what I imagined was a challenging glare. I'm clearly not as intimidating as I like to think though, since he just glared right back at me.

"'I think I love you, Cal,'" he whispered.

I bit down on my lip hard. My favourite part. He'd just voiced the beginning of my favourite part.

"'But I'm not good,'" I intoned, grateful I'd read the book so many times over that I knew it word for word.

"'Because you're not good.'"

My head was still tilted to the side, with my chin raised a little so I could see him better. He kissed me again then, slipping the hand that wasn't already around me up my neck and into my hair. It was just like the last time: I felt everything in me disconnect until I was just reacting with no thought involved whatsoever. His ragged breathing when we eventually broke away indicated he was enduring something similar.

My head was dizzy, and my stomach, which had started performing magnificent acrobatic acts as soon as his lips touched mine, still hadn't returned to normal. I took a deep breath and attempted to think rationally again. It was utterly impossible. I'd never had any kisses like that, ever. I'd had some damn good kisses in my time, don't get me wrong, but nothing that made my brain fall out and my world spin on its ass like it did with Embry.

He got up after that, and I reached for his hand without thinking about it for once. We walked back along the beach, talking quietly like we had every day this week about the trivial things that matter so much.

My cell phone was set to silent and it was with a pinch of regret that I checked it and noted the fifteen missed phone calls from my mom. I sighed deeply, and told Embry that he'd better take me home now. The disappointment in his face was so potent that I laughed loudly, and he stared at me, totally nonplussed.

"You look like I've just told you I kill kittens in my spare time."

We were at the motorbike now, and when I tried to get on he stopped me, leaning close to my face. I felt my stomach begin its circus act again and I was sure he was going to kiss me, but then I felt his warm breath on my ear.

"Cats are severely overrated."

He drove me back, and I spent the entire journey attempting to ignore the addictive exhilaration the motorbike brought out in me so I could focus on the hell that was going to be waiting for me at home. It was impossible to block out though, and I ended up passing the time in much the same way I had the first time I'd gotten on the back of the bike.

He parked one street down from my house, I guess not wanting to aggravate the situation any by showing my mom and dad that I'd spent the day driving around on the back of a motorcycle.

I hopped off, and I think he was moving in to kiss me goodbye when I grabbed his hand and tried to haul him off with me. He didn't move of course. I rolled my eyes at my pathetic upper body strength.

"Addie, what exactly are you doing? Besides trying to give yourself a hernia, I mean?" He looked amused.

But an idea had occurred to me, worked its way into my brain and I was now powerless in preventing myself from attempting to carry it out.

"I think it's time you met the family."

His face froze then and I almost shouted "HAHA" at the quick transition he had just made from mocking my strength to totally freaking out.

"You're not serious?"

"Completely."

"But… your mom hates me." His voice was strangled.

"My mom doesn't _know_ you. I hated you that night at the bonfire, for Gods sake, and look at me now. All she needs is to get to know you." I smiled wickedly.

"You hated me?"

"Of course. You were unbearably smug."

He looked a little heartbroken, and I kissed him in apology. He smiled then, and I wondered how much of that heartbroken look had been a show just to get this reaction from me.

He climbed off the bike, and traipsed after me down the street at a comically slow pace. I could feel small spits of rain starting, their timing uncannily perfect for once. Tripping lightly up my front path, I wondered about my mood. I must be giddy from the afternoon. That had to be it. There could be no other explanation as to why I wasn't quivering in fear or anger right now. Because I should be. My mom and dad were going to be furious. Not only had I run away for a couple of hours without leaving any explanation, I had run away with a boy they had explicitly told me I wasn't to see again. A boy I was now going to bring into my house with me in an attempt to introduce them all.

_Enough. Just get it over with._

I pulled open the front door, and it creaked as I led Embry in behind me and shut over with a bang. My mom came storming out of the front room, my dad close behind her.

"Adalia Marie George, do you have any idea how worried…"

Her mouth formed a perfect 'O' of surprise and the words appeared to fall right out of her mouth as she stopped dead, taking in the sight of Embry standing just behind me. I took a deep breath.

"Mom, Dad: there's someone I want you to meet."


	11. Things Fall Apart

* * *

"…_his whole life was dominated by fear,_

_the fear of failure and of weakness._

_It was deeper and more intimate than the fear of evil and capricious gods and of magic,_

_the fear of the forest, and the forces of nature, malevolent, red in tooth and claw._

_Okonkwo's fear was greater than these._

_It was not external but lay deep within himself."_

- Chinua Achebe

* * *

Fear.

The fear of failing, the fear of making things worse instead of better.

I should have felt it. By all accounts it should be choking me right now. Sixteen or not, I was still legally a child and in my parents care. If this didn't work, they were perfectly within their rights to stop me from ever seeing Embry again.

But when I spoke, my voice was clear and my stomach wasn't tied up in knots.

The fear that should have been twisting its way around my throat was missing.

"This is Embry Call."

--

I hadn't spoken loudly, but in the absolute quiet of our front hall my voice echoed like the aftermath of a canon fire. My mom and dad simply stared. My mom's mouth was still hanging slightly open, and her eyes moved between Embry and I like a spectator at a particularly intense tennis match.

Embry shifted from one foot to the other behind me, a movement so slight that no one else picked up on it. I was a different story. The disgustingly sappy idiot inside me suddenly seemed to be hyper-aware of his every movement, so I turned slightly to face him when I heard him suck in a low breath, readying himself to talk.

"It's nice to meet you, Mr and Mrs George. I'm, uh, really sorry I stole Addie away for a while today, we honestly didn't mean to worry you."

_Hmmm. Maybe we should have come up with some excuses for that…_

_Oh well, too late now._

My mom ignored the hand he offered, staring only at me now as though her refusal to acknowledge him would make him disappear. Excellent, we were off to a roaring start.

Someone cleared their throat in the kitchen doorway, and I looked up in relief to see Aidan making his way towards us. He took Embry's hand and shook it, glancing once at our parents over his shoulder.

"Good to see you again Embry. I'd really like to congratulate you on rendering our parents immobile, you have no idea how long I've been searching for someone who's able to do that."

My dad laughed at that, seeming to come out of his stupor as he did so. He moved forward to shake Embry's hand too, and although his smile was a little strained I appreciated the effort.

"Nice to meet you… Embry, was it? Unusual name. You're Quileute?"

"Half and half, actually. My mom's from the Makah tribe and my dad was Quileute. My name's neither though, my mom just happened to watch a lot of soap operas while she was pregnant and took her inspiration from that."

"Interesting…"

I could see my dad, ever the scholar, practically foaming at the mouth to find out more about Embry's heritage. It was a testament to how worried he had been that he was able to utter his next words.

"Aidan, would you mind showing Embry into the front room? We just need to talk to Addie in the kitchen for a second."

My mom marched after my dad without a word to any of us. I rolled my eyes at Aidan and then grinned at Embry.

"Trust me, her ignoring you is what Monopoly players refer to as a 'Get Out of Jail Free' card."

He laughed a little at that, before squeezing my hand and wishing me luck as he followed Aidan.

I pulled my jacket off and threw it over the banister before slowly making my way into the kitchen. The odd feeling of serenity that had descended upon me as I had pranced up the path to my house with Embry trailing half-heartedly behind me had returned. It was bizarre in the extreme, because I wasn't known to be a very calm person. Cutting, disinterested, sarcastic, rude, prone to spectacular fits of the overdramatic: sure. But serene I was unfamiliar with. It would have been unsettling if I hadn't felt so damned calm about everything.

My mom opened her mouth to speak as soon as I stepped through the doorway but I held up my hand to stop her before she got the chance to begin. I wasn't sure how well my newfound tranquillity would hold up under the phenomenal pressure of one of her rants.

"Please just listen to what I have to say first?"

My dad laid his hand on her arm and she seemed to deflate, leaning back against the counter and scrutinising me.

I took a deep breath and began my campaign.

"Okay. I know you both have my best interests at heart. I know you're worried about me, and I know you'd rather have almost anything in the world happen than have me go through a repeat of last year. I know that's why you told me I couldn't see Embry anymore, and I know that me taking off and worrying you both even more was an insanely stupid thing to do. I know all that, and I apologise for it. But I think you need to remember some stuff when you consider how severe my punishment is going to be, because whether you like it or not, I'm sixteen now. I'm nearly an adult. I want you guys to trust me enough to realise that I know what I'm doing, and that I'm not going to get myself into a situation like that again."

I wanted to keep talking, but the sensible half of my brain convinced me to stop there and hear their response before continuing.

"She has a point, Carla."

My mind conjured a chorus of heavenly angels around my father, all softly singing 'Hallelujah'.

I watched my mom look at him, watched her draw in her breath and prepared myself for whatever she was planning to say.

"Honey, we don't want you to think that we don't trust you. We do. What we don't trust is boys we don't know when they're around you."

I exhaled. That wasn't so bad, I had been expecting her to say as much.

"You know that meeting and getting to know Embry would solve any problem on that front then, don't you?"

My mom only grimaced in response, so I kept talking.

"Look, last year I made a lot of bad decisions. The drinking, the staying out till Christ knows when in the morning, the boyfriends…" I flinched on the last word, but shook my head when my dad made a comforting sound and looked as though he was going to move forward to hug me. "I made a lot of mistakes, but mom, even you have to see that I'm not like that anymore. I haven't touched alcohol since that night, and I haven't broke curfew since then either. I do my homework, I get half-decent grades in most things and amazing ones in English, I take care of my drunken brothers and drive them home when they've had too much to drink and I've been careful around guys. But…" and here I stopped for a second to stare up at my mom in what I hoped was an angelically pleading type of way, "I really like this guy. And I'm begging you to trust my decision and let me see him."

I managed to stop myself there. I had been verging on telling her that if she didn't let me see him she would be basically forcing me to sneak out and lie to her so I could do so anyway, but in the end I figured that wouldn't be the best way to convince her. If she said no, I could always try out the sneaking and lying part of my plan then.

"I thought you said you were just friends with him?" she asked, raising her eyebrows.

"Oh… yeah. When I said that we were."

I cringed internally and hoped she wouldn't focus on that last part. Her nod was almost imperceptible, and she marched out of the kitchen in much the same vein as she'd marched in. My dad shrugged, and we followed her through to the front room. Embry looked relieved as we came in, and I looked around the room to find Aidan, Jamie and Lucas all staring at him intently. Apparently the interrogation had begun without us.

I nearly fell over in shock when my mom walked straight up to Embry and stuck out her hand. They shook and she stepped back a little, looking at him carefully.

"I owe you an apology, Embry."

Yup, if my dad hadn't been standing beside me with his hand on my arm, that one would have definitely knocked me to the floor.

"I've been extremely rude to you, both this morning and then again just now. But I'm rather protective of my daughter and while that's not an excuse, that is my reason for it. She's trying to convince me to trust her opinion, so you're getting the benefit of the doubt for now. I'm very sorry for making you feel unwelcome before, I hope you wouldn't mind starting over now?"

"Naw, of course not," Embry smiled easily, and the heavy tension that had been suffocating the room eased off a little.

--

Fear.

I hadn't felt it today, but my mom sure as hell had.

I guess I had been a little tough on her before. It was hard to believe now that a second of doubt had caused this much damage to our relationship. It was hard to believe that I had let a second of doubt do this much damage to our relationship.

She had been in the wrong. But parents weren't perfect, and they made mistakes.

Fear had been driving her; the fear of believing what had happened and the fear of having to deal with it once she did.

Just like fear was driving her now; fear of her only daughter getting hurt again. And even in the absence of my own fear, I could understand that.

--

We spent the afternoon at my house, eating the lunch my mom made and attempting to deflect the questions the rest of my family insisted on shooting at Embry every couple of minutes. He answered everything so perfectly that my head was beginning to expand to fit my growing smugness that my plan to introduce him had gone so well.

When dinnertime hit and my mom asked him if he wanted to stay for that too, his response was unexpected.

"Actually, I was wondering if you wouldn't mind me borrowing Addie for a couple of hours?"

My mom's face immediately tightened, but her response was neutral as she warned me to make sure I ate something and to be back in time for curfew.

We walked outside, Embry flat out ignoring my questions as to where we were going. I followed him, assuming we were walking back to the motorbike, but he stopped me as soon as we were out of sight of my house, knotting his fingers around mine and pulling me to him for a kiss.

"It's been driving me crazy not being able to do that all afternoon."

I grinned and followed him with slightly more energy than before, although I was still slightly apprehensive as to where he was taking me. My musings on where we were going occupied me more than they should have, and I barely felt the excitement of the motorbike this time.

He drove back in the same direction that lead to the beach in La Push, but made a turn at the end of the highway instead of continuing on. We were now on a small dirt road, and I felt my forehead wrinkle in my confusion. He stopped the bike at the end of the road and climbed off, indicating the only building in sight: a small weathered house with marigolds decorating its outside. The front door was sitting slightly open and I could hear the noise coming from inside; booming voices and loud laughter, the clatter of plates and bustling movements of a big crowd in a small house. I looked questioningly at Embry, and he smiled smugly.

"I thought it was your turn to meet my family."

He led me towards the door, and I felt my stomach drop.

--

Fear.

I guess it was inevitable that it caught up with me at some point, right?

It hadn't touched me all day, but it had finally arrived.

Fear of failure, fear of embarrassment, fear of how terrible I probably looked after the events of the day.

I tried to keep my face normal as my insides tore themselves up in nervous knots.

--

**A/N: Sorry this chapter was a little dull, but I wanted to get all of the stuff with her mom sorted out in one so I didn't need to drag it out any longer than necessary.  
****On the upside, I can't WAIT to start writing the next chapter, I've been looking forward to having Addie meet the rest of the pack for such a long time now.  
****Which brings me to my question for all of you: which of the other wolves would you prefer having a more prominent role in the next chapter? Jared and Kim, to show her the beauty of an imprinted relationship? Quil and Claire, for some toddler/big brother cuteness? Jacob, for some heartbroken Bella's-just-married-a-vampire-and-left-me angst? Sam/Emily/Leah, for… well some more angst probably? Or Seth for all his Seth-like wonderfulness?  
****All the wolves will be there, I'm just curious about people's preferences. Let me know what you think!**


	12. Twelfth Night

**Just to warn you all again: I'm completely ignoring Breaking Dawn in this story. I'm really sorry, I know that's probably not the way some of you want it to go but I hate the division of the pack and don't really want to write about it. This takes place after Eclipse, the pack are as one and Jacob running away after receiving Edward's note is the last we know of it.  
Because I feel like I don't say it enough: thank you again for the reviews. If you could send cupcakes over the internet each of you would be receiving one right now.**

_

* * *

_

"Present mirth hath present laughter;

_What's to come is still unsure…"_

_-_ William Shakespeare

* * *

He grabbed my arm and pulled me towards the small house, and I concentrated on keeping my face calm so my hesitation wouldn't show. For probably the hundredth time that week, I mentally slapped myself for being so idiotically emotional. It didn't help that I knew the cause of my bubbling emotions either, because knowing the cause was doing nothing to help calm me down. Especially when the cause happened to be towing me behind him into a dark hallway.

Ask any girl who happens to be in the beginning stages of a crush or relationship and she'll tell you: whenever the object of your lust-filled fantasies happens to be around, everything you feel is immediately brought to the surface. You can't hide a single thought that crosses your mind when you're around them because they're displayed right across your face for the whole world to see. I had blushed enough around boys pre-Kyle to know this, but it felt different with Embry. Heightened, somehow. And I found that I couldn't control my nerves now anymore than I could have controlled my sobbing confession to him about Aidan or my jumping on the back of his motorcycle without considering the consequences.

I wasn't sure what I was walking into, but by the sheer amount of voices I was guessing that the house belonged to one of his friends as opposed to his mom. Reaching this conclusion had built my nerves into an unconquerable mass. What these people thought of me_ mattered_. Embry himself had told me how they were as good as his family, and if they didn't like me…

Well, suffice it to say that the outcome probably wouldn't be good for me.

I could just make out Embry's face in the dark as he turned towards me.

"You ready for this?"

I nodded in response, not really trusting myself to speak.

"Remember not to stare at Emily, okay?"

He whispered this and then moved into the first room on the right hand side. Wondering who the hell Emily was and why I would feel the need to stare at her, I followed him quickly. I blinked my eyes a few times to get used to the bright light in the large room, most of which was a kitchen area and the rest a small living room. These things didn't register immediately though, not with the mass of ridiculously tall, insanely muscled Quileute males taking up the space. I say 'males' because boys was much too young a word for them, and yet, impossibly, men was much too old a word for them too. Their bodies indicated that they were in their mid-twenties at least, but their faces retained a youthful quality which was more often than not lost in the cynicism people out of their teens perpetually seemed to have.

I remembered my shock when I had first seen them walking along the beach, and while I'd almost gotten used to Embry's huge frame now, the sight of so many of them in such a small, enclosed space was making me feel claustrophobic.

The babble coming from at least eight different voices all speaking at once ceased slowly as one by one everyone realised that we were standing in the doorway.

"Hey everybody… this is Addie."

Every single pair of eyes in the room turned to me. I considered doing some really fast pirouettes on the spot to see if my feet would burrow into the ground and I'd end up on the other side of the world, but I figured that ruining the carpet wouldn't get me any brownie points.

"Addie, this is Sam, Quil, Seth, Collin, Jared, Paul and Brady," Embry indicated the man-boys I'd pondered over when we came in. They all smiled and waved in greeting, except the one named Paul, who merely grunted and then turned back to the television in the corner.

"And this is Kim, Leah, Emily, and the little one over there is Claire."

He indicated three women and a small toddler, all of whom my eyes must have missed when I first came into the room. Leah was sitting around the TV with the majority of the guys while Claire was sitting on the carpet a little way away (with… Seth? Quil?… I was already getting names mixed up) grinning toothily while she played with some dolls, a plastic tiara perched jauntily on her head. Emily had been standing in the kitchen with Kim when Embry introduced her, but she moved forwards immediately, brushing off her hands on her apron before grasping one of mine in both of hers and smiling widely. Embry had prepared me well; my shocked eyes took in her ruined beauty but didn't linger on it, instead focusing on the warmth obvious in her eyes.

"It's nice to finally meet you Addie, especially after Embry's talked about you so much. Are you hungry? Dinner should be ready soon."

"Thanks, it's nice to meet you too. Can I help with anything?" I tried to plead with my eyes to get her to agree, I would feel much less awkward if I had something to do.

"You cook?"

She looked intrigued, like she was actually interested in my answer and not bored by the necessary small talk inevitable during a first meeting.

"Not unless burnt toast is your thing. But I've just about mastered the art of setting out plates and cutlery if you need someone to do that?" I smiled to show I was kidding and not trying to be a bitch. Some people didn't take to my sarcasm immediately and spent the first hours of our acquaintance thinking I was horribly cheeky.

"We're lucky to have you then, you seem to be one of the only ones here who's able to do that," she shot a look at the group totally absorbed in the television and grinned back at me. I immediately relaxed and followed her over to the kitchen. Embry squeezed my hand before taking up position amongst the couch potatoes.

"Auntie Em, Auntie Em!"

Claire pulled on Emily's trouser leg as she passed. Emily stopped and looked down.

"What's up, honey?"

"Who that?"

"That's Addie. She's Uncle Embry's friend."

The little girl nodded, and then turned to the guy beside her and whispered something.

"Claire wants to know if you'd like to borrow one of her Barbies," he kept his face remarkably straight as he said this, looking down at her fondly.

I knelt down so I was at eye level with her. She was gorgeous; all silky baby soft skin and curling hair, with the widest dark eyes I'd ever seen. She held out the doll in the blue sparkly dress, her face solemn. I took it from her and said thanks, but she'd already turned back to the rest of her dolls. I took the Barbie with me into the kitchen, moving its legs into a sitting position and propping it up on the kitchen counter. I smiled at Kim, another dark-skinned Quileute. I was starting to feel conspicuous with my blue eyes and almost translucent complexion.

"Hi Addie, it's nice to meet you," her voice was quiet.

"You too."

She was fixing up a bowl of salad while Emily fussed over what appeared to be a cauldron sized pot of pasta and a mountain of garlic bread in the oven.

"Wow, will all of that get eaten? I mean, I know there's a lot of people here but that's a _lot_ of food."

Emily and Kim grinned at each other.

"We have ten pizzas on their way too."

My jaw must have literally dropped because they each had a fit of laughter.

"We always get through it somehow," Kim said, while Emily pointed me in the direction of the plates and cutlery.

"So how do you guys all know each other?"

_I know I said I hated small talk, but hey, it has to be done right?_

"Well, Sam's my fiancé. He's in charge of taking care of the reservation, and the rest of the guys and Leah help him out so that's how they all know each other. Claire's my niece and Kim is Jared's girlfriend. Sam and I have everyone over almost every Saturday night because it's so hard to get them all together during the week."

Emily talked while Kim smiled on, but didn't contribute.

"Taking care of the reservation? What does that involve?"

"Just making sure everything's safe, basically."

I was still confused as to what exactly that would entail but Emily didn't elaborate further.

I did a quick head count of the room and piled the correct number of plates, knives and forks on the small kitchen table.

"Um, Emily?"

"Mmmm?" she looked up from where she was bending down to check the garlic bread.

"I don't think everyone's going to fit around the table…"

"Don't worry, they all eat like pigs so they don't mind doing it on the floor or the couch."

I laughed at that, gazing around as I searched for something else to do.

"Go sit down honey, we're just about ready to eat anyway," Emily caught my gaze as it roved around the kitchen.

I threw myself down on the floor beside Embry, having remembered to bring the Barbie with me so as to not insult Claire. He snaked his arm around my waist and pulled me closer to him while I gazed at the television screen.

"The US Open," he murmured, before I could ask.

"I thought that was a golf thing?" I asked, as I watched the two men run about the tennis court.

"So did we all. But according to this jackass here who stole the remote and turned off the football game we were watching, it's a tennis thing too," grumbled Paul, indicating Embry.

"Aw come on, it's only on for two weeks once a year! I'm hardly interrupting your TV schedules regularly like _some_ people," Embry retaliated, shooting a look over at the guy sitting with Claire. I still couldn't remember his name, although I was pretty sure it was either Seth or Quil. I made a mental note to ask Embry later. Quil/Seth held up his hands, and patted Claire's head.

"Hey, if Claire wants The Teletubbies, Claire gets The Teletubbies. You try arguing with a two year old over characters named Dipsy and Po and see how far you get."

The banter continued in this vein (I even managed a few shots at Embry about his tennis obsession) until the doorbell rang and Sam went to fetch the pizzas as Emily sat the pasta and garlic bread on the table. The pizzas were set out on the floor and everyone helped themselves. Kim tugged on my arm and warned me to take as much as I would eat first time around because there wouldn't be much left if I wanted seconds. I complied, and watching the males of the group eating it was soon obvious what she meant. They inhaled food, mountains and mountains of it. I almost felt ill watching it all, and looked up to find Kim grinning at me in agreement. Jared had kicked Paul off the couch to make room for her beside him, and the aura of comfort and love radiating from the two of them was so obvious it was almost visible.

"How long have Jared and Kim been together?" I asked Embry quietly, so no one else would hear.

"Nearly a year I think. Why?"

"Is that all?" my voice must have reflected my shock, because he looked perplexed.

"What do you mean?"

"They just look like they've been together longer."

"How can they look like they've been together longer?" his tone was amused now.

"I dunno… just the way they are with each other; totally comfortable and secure and in love. You don't normally see that in a couple until they've been together a lot longer than a year. It's … amazing to see."

He grinned, but Quil (he'd also informed me that Quil had been the one sitting by Claire earlier; Seth was the happy-go-lucky one sitting beside Leah) held out the pizza box with the last slice of margarita in it for me to have. We had been sharing it since everyone else had balked at the obviously ridiculous idea of having a pizza plain and refused to eat it. I took the box from him and noted with a shock the warmth coming from his hands. His body temperature was at least as warm, if not warmer, than Embry's.

"Jeez, for such a cold place you guys all manage to keep yourselves insanely warm," I commented.

No one replied, but I saw Sam shoot Embry an annoyed look, and wondered if I'd said something out of turn. I didn't push it further though, and conversation continued as normal.

Leah stood up as soon as the meal was over and made for the door, but Emily, who had been kicking the guys in the shins in order to make them pick up their plates and help her tidy up, touched her arm before she reached it. She quietly asked her if she didn't want to stay for a little while but Leah's arm twitched away quickly, and she mumbled a no before exiting. She didn't once make eye contact with Emily.

My brow furrowed as I processed what I'd just watched. Everything had seemed so relaxed and easy when I had come in here; kinda like my own family but without the underlying tension between me and my mom, and the secrets I now knew that Aidan was hiding. But the way Leah had left made me think she didn't really want to be here at all, that she had just stayed the minimum amount of time required of her and then departed. I guess no group of people could be really perfect; it was just that everyone had their issues or arguments hiding just underneath the surface so a newcomer wouldn't notice at first.

Somewhere in the middle of my pondering Sam had motioned to Embry and the two of them had went outside to talk. I helped Emily collect all the empty plates before asking where I could find the bathroom. I went back out into the hallway and was about to move up when I heard the sound of Embry's voice coming from outside. I didn't catch what he said and was about to continue on my way when Sam's angry voice filled my ears.

"You're going to have to tell her at some point, Embry. You can't bring her around here and not expect suspicions to start piling up."

Embry's voice was more controlled, and I couldn't quite make out his reply. I heard the creaking of the front steps as they moved up them though, and hurried into the bathroom, blushing furiously at the notion of almost being caught eavesdropping.

I splashed a little water on my face once inside; my thoughts dancing erratically through my brain.

_The 'her' they were referring to had to be me, right? I was the only newcomer here tonight, it had to be me. But that would mean Embry was keeping something from me…_

_I don't want Embry to be keeping something from me…_

_But I'm keeping something from him…_

_I still haven't told him about Kyle, I can't get mad that he hasn't told me everything about himself…_

_But suspicions? What suspicions? I didn't have any suspicions about anything…_

_Except Leah not really wanting to be here…_

_But why would that have anything to do with me?_

_Urgh…_

The "urgh" I muttered aloud, attempting to block out the monologue running through my brain as I exited the bathroom and went back into the main room of the house. I gathered that someone had talked Emily out of cleaning up right away because although everything had been removed from the floor, she was sitting comfortably with everyone else while the dirty plates languished unwashed in the sink. I sat down beside Embry and leaned into his chest, while he raved on nonsensically about the tennis ball being in when it got called out. My stomach was still whirling uneasily, but I managed a smile as he pulled his arms around me again.

We sat like this for at least an hour, until Emily broke the easy conversation by attempting to unlock herself from Sam to start washing the dishes. They were in the middle of a mock fight when the front door slammed, and I saw Emily look up hopefully. I wondered if she was still hoping Leah had reconsidered.

The person who entered the room wasn't Leah though, and I sucked in my breath quickly in an attempt to stop myself from gasping aloud. His Quileute skin was identical to everyone else's in the room, only his was covered with a thick layer of dirt and grime. He was shirtless and barefoot, and the shorts he had on appeared to be a couple of seconds away from falling apart completely.

"Hi," he croaked, his voice rusty and cracking over the short word, as though he hadn't spoken much at all recently.

The silence that followed was absolute, and I snuck a glance at Embry. He was staring at the stranger with an odd mixture of elation and worry, and looking around the room I noticed his expression mirrored in the eyes of everyone else. My gaze moving back to the newcomer, and I started when I realised he was staring directly at me.

"So," he began, his eyes turning hard as they roved over Embry's arm around my waist and finally settled on his face, "celebrating the loss of yet another one's free will, are we?"


	13. Outlander

* * *

"_There are things I canna tell you, at least not yet._

_And I'll ask nothing of ye that ye canna give me._

_But what I would ask of ye-_

_when you do tell me something, let it be the truth._

_And I'll promise ye the same._

_We have nothing now between us, save- respect perhaps._

_And I think that respect has maybe room for secrets, but not for lies."_

- Diana Gabaldon

* * *

I didn't understand what was going on. I was clearly the only one. The expressions around the room ranged from sorrow to jubilance, but none bar mine were confused.

"Well? Aren't you all happy to see me?"

The silenced deepened, and though the stranger had been speaking to the room at large, his eyes remained locked on Embry and I. I squirmed uncomfortably under the heat of his stare, and very nearly fell off the couch in shock when Sam's voice broke through the quiet.

"Of course we are. But does Billy know you're back, Jacob?"

There was a composed serenity in his low voice that calmed me slightly, although the tension in the room wasn't completely diffused.

I racked my brains quickly, trying to figure out if Embry had ever mentioned someone named Jacob to me, but came up blank. While I was contemplating, Jacob had refocused his attention onto Sam, and was shaking his head slowly.

"I came straight here first. I just wanted you guys to know that I'm…"

He broke off, shrugged his shoulders. His voice was the same as it had been when he'd first entered, broken and scratchy from seeming disuse. He could have been brother to any of the males in the room, if not for the difference in his expression. The youthful innocence which lit the faces of the others was missing in Jacob; instead there was only a harsh, bitter longing in his eyes which made my insides ache for him, even though I didn't understand what had caused it in the first place.

"I think he'd like to see you. He's been worried sick all this time, not that he'd show it. Idiot's nearly as stubborn as you are."

Jacob grimaced, the pain from his eyes taking over his entire face for a second before fading back.

"Come on, I'll walk you over. I want to talk to you anyway," Sam's voice was still quiet, but the authority present in it was undeniable. Jacob merely nodded, turning only when Sam was on his feet and following him from the room. He had reached the door when another voice spoke out.

"Jake… I'm really glad you're back."

Embry's voice was as low and quiet as Sam's had been, but the emotion in it was much more potent. I saw Quil nod emphatically from his position across the room.

Jacob had turned back at the sound of his voice, and his face now twisted in response. I almost gasped aloud before I realised that the contortion was supposed to be a smile; the smile of someone who hadn't smiled in a long, long time and had forgotten the facial muscles necessary to do so.

He left without speaking, and the door slammed, announcing their departure. Everyone resumed conversation. But it felt stilted; the mind of the majority was clearly somewhere else and it was straining them to have to pretend otherwise. I shrunk into Embry's side and felt my awkwardness grow as I realised that they would be talking freely if it wasn't for me. Whatever they couldn't say was quite obviously related to Jacob, whoever the hell Jacob was, and since I was the only one who didn't know I had to assume that the lack of discussion concerning him was due to my presence.

It wasn't even like I could figure out on my own who he was because I'd never heard him mentioned before. I had, quite literally, nothing to go on. Except maybe what he'd said as he'd first entered the room.

_Celebrating the loss of yet another one's free will, are we?_

But what in the name of arse did that even mean? He had been looking at Embry and I when he said it, so did that mean he was talking about us? But _loss of free will_? Surely no one could be that against relationships that they would describe them in such a way? Although, to be fair, Jacob hadn't looked like he followed conventional thought. He looked like he'd been living in a jungle with no link to civilisation for the past five years of his life.

Oh whoa, hold up a minute. I was describing whatever this was that Embry and I had as a _relationship_? I needed to calm the hell down and take a step back.

Maybe I was jumping the gun on everything, and Jacob hadn't even be talking about us. Maybe Embry would run away screaming if he knew that I'd been subconsciously labelling us as a couple. Maybe I should stop thinking about everything that had just happened before my brain exploded against the wall.

The last thought was the most sensible, and I resolved to follow it. So when Embry nudged me softly and murmured that he'd better take me home, I smiled and said goodbye to everyone nonchalantly instead of freaking out that he was trying to get rid of me so that he could come back alone and discuss secret topics with his friends.

The drive home didn't help to ease my irrational fears any, however. Embry was distracted. As much as he tried to keep his attention on the here and now, I could see in his eyes each time it slipped back into the past, remembering god knows what about god knows who.

I climbed off the back of the bike for the fourth time that day, and watched Embry's face closely. He leaned in to kiss me goodbye but his eyes were still a million miles away. I moved my head to the side, brushed my hand across his cheek as if to wake him up and spoke to him gently.

"Hey, are you okay?"

His attempt at a smile was almost as disturbing as Jacob's.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

I was sighing inwardly over the obvious lie when he spoke again.

"Or not fine so much as straddling the line between insanely fucking happy and ridiculously worried."

"About Jacob?" I asked carefully.

He nodded in response, twirling his fingers through my hair distractedly.

"Um… Embry? Who is Jacob?"

"My best friend," he murmured as he smiled ruefully.

His index finger lightly traced the shape of my mouth, as he stared over my shoulder at the empty street behind him. I was attempting to figure out some way to respond to that annoyingly vague statement when his eyes refocused and he wrapped his arms around me quickly, crushing me to him. My breath was knocked clean out of me with that one movement, and the force with which he then kissed me didn't do anything to bring it back. I felt my knees buckle under the sheer intensity emanating from his body and I was losing myself, little by little, as his arms encircled me and began to stroke tiny, feather-light patterns up and down my back. I was drowning, barely noticing that he was lifting me, that I was sitting back on the bike, that my legs, completely of their own accord, were wrapping around his waist, pulling him closer, God he could never get close enough…

"Ahem."

The voice was unknown, but its effect was immediate as he released me and we both stared guiltily at its source: a middle aged woman walking by with a young child. She glared at us and tutted a few times before continuing on her way, while I tried to control the flame now creeping across my cheeks. When she disappeared from view, Embry pulled me back to him in a hug, laughing softly into my hair.

"That is not going to help my reputation with the good people of Forks at all," his voice was hoarse.

I couldn't help but laugh along with him as I eased myself off the seat, silently thanking the powers that be that he'd parked slightly down the road from my house. We reached my front steps quickly, and he stopped at the bottom one, looking up at me contemplatively.

"That wasn't how I wanted tonight to end, Addie, and I'm really sorry about that."

"It's okay. I'm just… confused, I guess."

"Yeah, I'd be surprised if you weren't. I just… it's not something that I…"

He seemed unable to form the words.

"It's not something you can talk about yet?"

He nodded his head, and I kissed him lightly on the lips.

"I'll see you soon, okay? And don't worry about it, it's fine."

I walked away from him, shutting the front door of my house quietly, singing "It's fine," in my head, over and over.

And it was fine.

It was fine because I'd only known him for a week and a day, fine because he didn't owe me anything, fine because I hadn't told him one of my own secrets when I'd had the chance.

I couldn't expect him to give me anything more than what I'd given him. I _wouldn't_ expect him to give me anything more than what I'd given him, no matter how much I wanted to. He would talk to me when he was ready, I'd just have to wait it out until then.

_Of course, Addie. Wait it out like the naturally patient person you are._

I had no chance.

I avoided any awkward questions from my family by retreating immediately to my room upstairs and falling into bed. I tossed and turned, unable to settle, constantly twisting the events of the night so they would make sense. But they never did, and my brain finally grew tired around 3am and I fell asleep.

When I woke up the next morning, the house was silent. I padded downstairs, happening upon Aidan in the front room, staring at the cell phone lying on the table in front of him.

His deep-set blue eyes, so like my own, were still heavy with sleep and his dark hair was tousled as though he'd just rolled out of bed, but his narrow face was drawn in annoyance. It was the same expression he'd had when I'd accidentally ripped one of his precious comics as a kid.

"It is waaaaaay too early in the morning for you to have that look," I greeted him.

He merely grunted in response and resumed his staring.

"Where is everyone?"

"Out for breakfast."

"And they didn't invite us?"

"According to the note they left: 'we snooze, we lose'. I've never hated that cliché more than I have now when it means that I'm missing out on a big greasy breakfast."

I laughed a little, leaving for the kitchen to fetch myself a bowl of cereal. When I returned, he was sitting in exactly the same position with exactly the same look on his face.

"Okay, let's have it," I said as I settled down on the opposite couch and flicked the TV on.

"Have what?"

"The reason you're staring at your cell phone like it's just ripped your X-Men comic."

"I'm not…" he heaved a sigh at my arched eyebrows, and started again.

"Hunter hasn't called all weekend."

"And?"

"And what, Addie?"

"And why do you care? This is Hunter we're talking about, right? The guy who pretends you don't exist in school and who calls you to make sure that your sister doesn't tell anyone his big secret?"

"Yeah, I know. But he's been calling every night this week, just to talk, and it's been kind of nice, you know? Plus it's not like I'm dancing around the streets in a glittery dress announcing my own homosexuality."

"I dunno Aidan. You seem a lot more okay with it than he does. He wouldn't even look in your general direction on Friday."

He only shrugged his shoulders, his gaze wandering back to the phone.

"So you like him then?"

"No, I actually quite enjoy making out with strangers I don't particularly care for."

I rolled my eyes at the heavy sarcasm.

"Yes, Addie, I like him."

"So why don't _you_ call _him_?"

"Because it's his turn. I called him Thursday night, he was supposed to call Friday."

"Well, maybe he'll call tonight."

"Or maybe he's been out getting trashed all weekend and he's met someone else."

"In Forks? You're kidding, right?"

"It's possible."

His voice was that of a sulky two-year old now. I stood up to return my bowl to the kitchen and smushed his cheeks together as I passed before planting a kiss on the top of his head.

"But you're just the prettiest thing ever, darling twin of mine. He'll never find anybody better."

He remained in the same sullen mood for the rest of the day though, in spite of my best efforts to cheer him up. And as the day went on and I still heard nothing from Embry, the less I felt like cheering him up and the more I felt like joining him in his misery.

My dad eventually grew sick of us at around 9pm and banished us upstairs until we rearranged our faces to reflect the fact that no one we knew had recently died.

Our moods hadn't improved much when Monday morning rolled around, Aidan's day made only worse by the fact that Hunter was absent from school. I spent the entire day in a fervour of nervous anticipation, because there had yet to be a school day since we met where Embry hadn't shown up at my car. My nerves were only heightened in pondering the mystery of Jacob, and if the end of the day would bring around the explanations that I so craved.

I ran my hands through my hair and mussed it a little as the final bell of the day rang, grabbing my bag and heading off as fast as humanly possible for the car park. Aidan ran to catch up with me, slamming into my back when I stopped suddenly as my car came into view.

He wasn't there.

--

**I'm so sorry this took me so long to write, my apologies to each and every one of you. I'm starting back uni next week, and I've been suffocating under the pile of books I have to read, so that's why there's been no shiny new updates lately.  
I'm going to try my hardest to make them at least once a week from now on though, so hopefully you'll all never have to wait this long again :)  
My many many thanks to the wonderful Livia F. for all her advice regarding this chapter, I would have probably given up at some point last night and deleted the entire thing if it hadn't been for you.  
And last but never least, thanks to everyone who put this on alert, favourited it or left me a review. I lurve you all.**


	14. Angels in America

* * *

"_God splits the skin with a jagged thumbnail from throat to belly_

_and then plunges a huge filthy hand in, _

_he grabs hold of your bloody tubes and they slip to evade his grasp_

_but he squeezes hard, he __insists__, he pulls and pulls_

_till all your innards are yanked out and the pain!_

_We can't even talk about that._

_And then he stuffs them back, dirty, tangled and torn._

_It's up to you to do the stitching."_

- Tony Kushner

* * *

The realisation that he wasn't there shot through me, and I felt myself rocking back on my heels a little. I stood still until Aidan gently slung his arm over my shoulders and pushed me forward. It was only then that I noticed the small queue of people forming behind us, having been unable to get by while I'd stood there motionless.

Now suffering from the double impact of embarrassment over holding up a group of people and irritation at myself because of my reaction to Embry's absence, I blushed furiously and kept my eyes on the ground as I stomped to the car. Lucas was already sitting in the driver's seat so I climbed quickly into the back and leaned my head against the window, ignoring the look of faux astonishment on Luke's face as he turned around to stare at me.

"Slumming it with us today then, Adalia?"

"Watch yourself Luke, you don't want to annoy me too much. Details of you emptying your guts at the bonfire might accidentally slip out when mom and dad are around."

His response was interrupted by Jamie climbing into the car, but the involuntary truce didn't last for long.

"Quick dude, ask her why she's not with her boyfriend today. She's got nothing on you!" I heard Luke hiss to Jamie.

"Easy now girls, let's try not to have a bitch-fight while one of you is driving," Aidan's voice broke over my heated retort, and I had to work insanely hard to quell the fit of ironic giggles that broke out in my head at his choice of words.

Much as this conversation made me want to storm up to my room and fashion a voodoo doll in the form of Lucas when we got home, I remained downstairs until after dinner in an effort to not think about Embry. This endeavour wasn't entirely successful because Aidan's phone soon after we got in and he disappeared upstairs to talk, leaving me alone at the mercy of the other two halfwits. I figured that anything was better than thinking about the nonsensical events of the past few days though, and I forced myself to sit through their inane conversations.

I finally dragged myself up to my room after dinner, Aidan pulling me aside on the second floor to gleefully inform me that Hunter had finally called, having been stuck in bed with the flu for the past three days.

"He won't be back in school until next week but his throat doesn't burn every time he speaks anymore, which I think is a silver lining," he finished.

"No fucking wonder he's got the flu in this place," I muttered darkly, glaring out the window, "I'm surprised the entire population isn't hit by epidemics of it every couple of weeks."

I spent the rest of the night attempting to keep myself busy: filling my head with the mindless violence of 'A Clockwork Orange' for a couple of hours, and then calling Dawn to gossip about nothing in particular and plan a Port Angeles outing for that Friday. I might as well have turned my bedroom into a theatre and started charging tickets to my one-woman show, which I had already catchily titled "How A Teenage Girl's Body Will React When Her Brain Isn't Allowed To Think About Boys". It wasn't until it hit ten o'clock and I found myself attempting Chemistry homework that I decided to put an end to the madness and go to bed. Which wasn't really my brightest plan since it allowed my brain to drift off into forbidden topics with nothing to distract it.

It was all too weird to comprehend though. Even, as my mind cast back in time, the fact that Embry had showed up at my car every day in the first place. It was something that I'd grown used to, something that I liked now, but I had to admit that it was a little odd. No guy was ever that keen right off the bat. Unless they turned out to be serial killers. I rolled my eyes inwardly as this thought formed, chastising myself for all the crappy horror movies I watched and the effect they were clearly having on me.

But when his consistent appearances were put together with his close-knit circle of friends and the invisible ties holding them all together, with the abrupt departure of Leah, the whispered conversation between Embry and Sam, the arrival of Jacob, the disappearance of Embry…

These thoughts had by now lodged themselves my brain, but I eventually wore them out and fell asleep.

The next day was much the same, as was the day after that and the day after that. The only tiny difference being that I was now residing in Glum City all alone because Aidan had jumped ship back to Happy Land the second that he heard from Hunter.

The suspicion that I was receiving the brush-off treatment from Embry was growing stronger with each passing day, and I was surprised by just how much the thought was affecting me. It actually hurt to think that I would never see him again, which was surprising mostly because of the length of time I'd known him. I'd never grown so attached to someone in such a short space of time before. Although I was a teenage girl, and therefore not totally inexperienced in going on a date and then never hearing from the guy again, I wasn't generally of the predilection to get so angsty over it.

On Friday, I had the thought of going to Port Angeles after school to keep me occupied, and I found Dawn standing by the school doors staring off into the distance while she waited for me. I waved my hand in front of her eyes to get her attention and grinned hello, but she merely pointed over my shoulder in response. I spun around and my eyes found Embry, standing there as though he'd never been away. I faltered, not knowing what to do with Dawn waiting beside me, and more than a little shaken by the power of his eyes. Apparently his absence hadn't lessened their effect on me. Dawn squeezed my arm and whispered that she'd wait for me in her car, making my decision for me, and so I made my way over to him for the first time in five days.

"So you didn't forget which car was mine or anything, did you?" I called out, once I was within hearing distance of him. I forced my mouth to smile as I attempted to be 'Light-hearted Addie'.

_Yes Addie, referring to yourself in the third person is clearly indicative of a light-hearted mind._

"Well, I was originally standing by that blue truck over there but then your brother climbed into this car and gave the game away."

Aidan chose that moment to knock on the car window and grin, completing the picture. I couldn't help but laugh.

"How've you been?" he asked, the gentleness of his voice almost hypnotising my senses into forgetting the disappointment of the past few days.

"Okay," I replied carefully, studying the sky. "You?"

"I've been better. Can we talk?"

I swiftly locked off the irrational part of me screaming that I should ditch Dawn and run away with Embry while I had the chance, and told him that I couldn't. His face fell, but picked up again after he asked if he could come by the house later on tonight and I agreed. He brushed my lips softly once before jogging away, and I trotted over to Dawn's car slightly dazed.

Needless to say, much as I enjoyed Dawn's company, the shopping trip dragged after that. However, feeling horrifically guilty that I was basically spending time with friends until an offer from the guy I liked came along, I threw myself into it with aplomb and tried to ignore the plodding second-hand of my watch. I even fell into some uncharacteristic girl talk, as Dawn questioned me about Embry and I told her the simplified version (leaving out all my weird suspicions about him and the details of my own dating history) and she confessed to liking someone at the school too, but wouldn't divulge who it was. It didn't matter though, because by this point we were pulling up to my house and I went skipping inside to find Embry sitting on the couch in my living room, chatting away to my mom and dad.

The shock of the slightly disturbing picture wearing off, I managed to answer a few stilted questions about how Port Angeles was, and then moved to go upstairs with my bags and motioned to Embry to follow me. My mum was quite obviously trying to prevent herself from having an aneurysm at the idea, but my dad, bless him, remained calm and shouted after us that we had half an hour before we had to come back downstairs.

Embry grabbed my shopping bags from my hands when we reached my room, asking me what I'd bought in a tone that would have been girlish if his voice hadn't been so deep.

"New lingerie," I spit out as I grabbed the bags back off him. Waiting on his reaction to see if I should be embarrassed by this moment or enjoy it, I grinned wickedly as I noticed a faint red tinge spread across his cheeks. I stowed the bags in my wardrobe and sat down next to him on the bed.

"Why Embry Call, I do believe you're blushing."

"You can't tell a guy something like that and not expect it to have an effect," he muttered as I laughed at the look on his face.

Silence took over as my laughter died out, and I twitched the corner of the bedspread in my hands as I waited for him to start talking.

"ImreallysorryIhaventbeenaroundthisweek!"

It came in a sudden blurt, and I had to think for a minute to make sure I'd heard him right.

"You're what?"

"I'm really sorry I haven't been around this week," he looked straight at me, a little shamefaced.

"Okay," I nodded.

"Okay?! Come on Addie, you have to give me something more than that."

"It's fine, I guess. I mean, it's not like we were supposed to meet somewhere and you never showed up. It's just that, I dunno, Saturday night ended so weirdly and I have all these unanswered questions and… well, you get the picture."

"Yeah, I can imagine. I know it's weird and I know I'm not helping any by dancing around the subject, but stuff with Jacob is just so messed up the now, you know?"

"Actually, I don't know. I don't even know who Jacob is, really."

"Jacob's been my best friend for almost forever. He went through some pretty bad stuff a while back and took off to get away from it all, and Saturday night was the first we've seen or heard from him in five months."

"Wow… So how's he doing now?"

"Not great," Embry grimaced as though even talking about his friend's pain was physically hurting him too. "I feel so … helpless whenever I'm around him. He's my best friend and he's obviously completely fucked up yet there's absolutely nothing I can do to help him."

I looked at him thoughtfully, noting the torture quite obvious in his eyes as he pondered his friend's situation. And suddenly, the answers I had been sure were so important earlier on in the week didn't really matter so much anymore. This was quite clearly a story that was painful for him to tell, and I wasn't going to force it before it was time. More than anyone, I should know how that would feel. With this realisation, I heard him attempt to move the conversation onto a safer topic, and I let it be moved.

I fell straight into bed after he left, with vehement promises that he would see me tomorrow, and slept better than I had all week.

I did in fact see him the next day, and I saw him roughly about five days a week for the following four weeks. I felt a relationship between us slowly building with the time that passed, and yet I never again spent a Saturday night with him. If I was spending the Saturday with him, he always returned me to my house around dinnertime, giving me the weekly reminder that there were still things I didn't know about him, no matter how much I felt the relationship growing.

I assumed that the information would come whenever he was ready, and I never mentioned it. But I often wondered if a change would come soon. And if, when it did, it would change the relationship between us that was slowly growing. If it would change _me_ as a person. The only important changes that I had experienced in my life had been big and messy, knocking me brutally and unexpectedly. This one seemed like it would be more subtle when it actually hit, and I wondered if its aftermath would have the same consequence of making me want to run for the hills_._

_--_

**HELLO!  
How are you all?  
I feel like I owe everyone massive amounts of chocolate and roses and teddy bears to apologise for the fact that I promised weekly updates and it's now a month later. I really am so sorry. University has been a complete bastard and I'm actually probably going to fail Celtic Civilisations because I spent time writing this chapter (as a sidenote: never take Celtic Civilisations because it looks like an easy way to make up your credits- it won't be) but I was going to go insane if I didn't get a chapter written, so here we are.  
This was actually quite an easy chapter in relation to what's coming. I was originally going to have a big dramatic cliffhanger here, but as per usual I went on for far too long in the first half of the chapter and ran out of time in the second half. I skipped quite a bit of time in the last few paragraphs too, so I hope no one minds that too much.  
Thanks again for all the reviews, do be a gem and let me know how this one goes down with you :)**


	15. The Waste Land

* * *

"_And I will show you something different from either_

_Your shadow at morning striding behind you_

_Or your shadow at evening rising to meet you;_

_I will show you fear in a handful of dust."_

_- _T.S. Eliot

* * *

I glanced at the clock and stifled the scream that threatened to escape my throat.

Four minutes.

Four minutes had passed since I'd last glanced at the clock.

Four minutes.

Someone somewhere was having the time of their life messing with me.

I gazed around Dawn's room. Every inch of available wall space was completely covered; with film posters, concert tickets, band posters, movie stubs. It was everything I'd ever wanted in a room and more. My attention wandered to the window and I glowered at the darkening sky. It was only just past seven o'clock, and it was already getting dark. The lamp in the room was distorting the faces in the posters, and I looked around at them with newfound interest until I felt something hard rap against my knuckles. I looked up to see Dawn glaring at me, bearing a ruler in her hand like a dictator's whip.

"For God's sake Addie, FOCUS."

I had to stop my eyes from rolling; she didn't look like she'd appreciate the gesture at this particular moment in time. I opted instead for a salute and a barked "Yes Ma'am!".

"You realise that this test is tomorrow, right? You seem way too flippant for someone who's currently sitting at a fail."

"I've come to accept my inadequacies by now, dear. Besides, didn't some fool once preach that a person's flaws made them more interesting? This flunk will send my levels of interestingness into orbit."

"Interestingness?"

"Shut up, it was the only word I could come up with on short notice."

Her restraint not being what mine was, she rolled her eyes at me and turned back to the Chemistry textbook. I sighed deeply and tried to concentrate, but every time I attempted to focus on ions I could feel a dull thumping begin at the back of my mind. I peered at Dawn under my eyelashes, and envied the quiet concentration she radiated. She wasn't much better at Chemistry than I was, but she actually made an effort to study and would probably end up with a passing grade.

I examined my hands and noticed a little chip in the bronze polish of my right thumbnail. I'd have to remember to fix that when I got home. The ends of my hair caught my eye as I studied my nails, and I noted the appearance of a few split ends that hadn't been there the week before. I would need to remember to make a hair appointment to fix that too. My knuckles grabbed my attention next, and I pondered their infinitely weird shape, making a fist and running my other hand over them.

Dawn's mobile shrilled suddenly from her desk and I jumped, scattering pens everywhere.

"Hello?" she murmured as I dived to the floor to fetch the runaway pens. I heard her tone move from the quiet it started at to confusion before finally landing on panic, although the actual words were muffled by the sofa chair I found myself under, groping for a lost writing implement. When I emerged she had hung up the phone and was frantically pulling on her shoes.

"I'm so sorry Addie, but we're gonna have to cut this study thing short. That was my mom on the phone, checking to see how my little brother enjoyed soccer practice."

Not comprehending, I shot her a quizzical look.

"The soccer practice that I forgot to pick him up after at six o'clock."

"I feel a colossal 'whoops' coming on here."

"Yeah, pretty much. Come on, grab your shoes. If you don't mind waiting in the car while I get him I'll drop you off after."

I smiled in appreciation of the offer but declined it.

"Honestly Dawn, don't worry about it. I can walk from here, it's not like it's far. Maybe some fresh air will give me the mental boost I need to dive back into the depths of ionic equations."

She laughed as she hustled me down the stairs. Thirty seconds later I was out the door, watching her drive away at a mentalist's speed. I chuckled quietly to myself and turned in the opposite direction. I had never walked home from Dawn's before, but given the relative size of Forks I was pretty sure I could manage to find my way.

_Clack. Clack. Clack._

The heels of my boots pounded out a staccato rhythm as I walked along, the sky getting darker with every step I took. An ominous rumble of thunder made me quicken my step and I felt the first small spits of rain on my face. In a ridiculously optimistic move that morning because it had been dry, I had worn a jacket without a hood. I was clearly being made to pay for my foolishness now as the rain began to grow heavier and I still didn't recognise any of the houses I was passing.

_Clack. Clack. Clack._

I faltered for a moment as I turned a corner and didn't find the street I was expecting to see, but continued on because I was still fairly confident I was going in the right direction. The rain was now running in rivulets down my face, and the thunder roared once again. I pushed a sopping strand of hair from my eyes and looked around for someone who could give me directions. It was a useless action however, as this street was every bit as deserted as the one before it had been.

_Clack. Clack. Clack._

My glance around had revealed to me a narrow alleyway between two houses on the opposite side of the road though. Feeling a little nervous about getting lost and more than slightly annoyed about the god-awful weather, I crossed the silent street and stood at the mouth of the alley. It was long, dark and narrow, but I could see cars passing by on the other side and figured I might be able to find someone there to ask for directions. I took a tentative step forward and tried to ignore the butterflies building in my stomach, attempting to forget every bad horror movie my brothers had ever forced me to watch. I was always the one to bitch about the idiocy of the female characters in those films, and the sheer stupidity they always seemed to display by walking into dark, deserted spaces of their own accord. I had almost convinced myself to turn back when the sensible part of my mind shouted that I was in Forks, a place not normally synonymous with psychopathic killers. Scoffing at this realisation, I moved through the alley.

_Clack. Clack. Clack._

I had never been the type to glance fearfully over my shoulder any time I had to walk somewhere alone, but I felt a sudden urge to do it now. There was, of course, nothing behind me and I mentally berated myself for being so paranoid as I turned back around. It was as I was doing this that I first noticed the figure a little further down the alley, and my gasp of surprise was lost amongst the pattering of the rain. I slowed my steps a little and studied the figure because its shape was too hunched over to be human.

_Clack... Clack… Clack…_

Before we moved here, my dad had looked up Forks online and found a couple of newspaper articles about wild animal attacks. They had happened a while before we'd even heard of the place and hadn't happened again since, but the descriptions of the victims were pretty gory and stayed in my mind. They hadn't been enough to convince my dad we shouldn't move here, and I desperately hoped I wasn't about to prove him wrong by walking into the salivating jaws of a feral wolf. The dilemma between turning and running back the way I'd come and continuing forwards was forming in my brain, and I remembered the advice always given on wildlife shows: don't run. It would have to be move forwards then. The outline hadn't moved since I'd noticed it, and my heart rate accelerated as I contemplated creeping past it in the hope of escaping its notice. I sucked in my breath as quietly as humanly possible and leant onto my tiptoes before moving soundlessly forwards. I could feel my hands shaking at my sides as I drew up beside it, but a sudden flash of lightning revealed what the darkness had not: garbage bins dumped together making an animal-like shape. I let out a gust of breath and allowed my body to drop backwards against the wall, appreciating the rain for once as it fell onto my flaming cheeks. It was as I was leaning against the wall that I heard a long howl coming from somewhere in the distance, and my reaction was immediate: I bolted.

_Clack. Clack. Clack. Clack. Clack. Clack._

Gasping for breath I tumbled out of the alley at the opposite end, and almost fainted in relief when I noticed that I had rolled up on the main street. Suppressing the urge to giggle hysterically because I was so overjoyed, I made my way to the coffee shop to dry off and wait out the rest of the storm and ponder what the hell could have made the noise I'd heard.

Forty minutes and two vanilla lattes later I had calmed down significantly (although I had no answer to the question of what had made the noise, except that it could be a real animal somewhere as opposed to a garbage bin one), but the extra caffeine shots had increased the shaking in my hands. There had been no sign of the thunder or lightning for at least twenty minutes, and although the rain hadn't stopped it had at least slowed to a drizzle, which I figured was the best offer I was likely to get in this place. My hair couldn't possibly get any worse now anyway, and I had pretty much wiped off all of my remaining eyeliner in the bathroom of the coffee place to avoid looking like a drowned Goth.

I made my way along the familiar route home, almost singing to myself in relief that I knew exactly where I was going this time.

_Clack. Clack. Clack._

I was clacking along quite happily when I heard the howling again. Although I was feeling safer because I was on familiar streets, the noise didn't prevent me from moving a little faster. Trying to put images of angry animals out of my mind, I was watching my feet on the slightly cracked pavement when I walked slap bang into someone.

"Sorry," I mumbled, dodging out of the way.

I gasped out in surprise when the person grabbed my arm, and looked up into the familiar face of Embry.

"Oh! Hi… I thought we weren't seeing each other tonight?"

"Addie…"

"Unless you're here seeing someone else…"

"Addie!"

"Oh my God, are you seeing another girl?! I mean, I guess we never really agreed to be exclusive or anything, but you could have at least told me. I guess that would explain all the secrecy though..."

"ADDIE!"

The urgency in his voice was so evident here that he stopped me in my rather garbled train of thought, and I looked at him properly for the first time. He was shirtless, although it was still raining and freezing cold to boot. Little droplets of rain were dripping down his carved cheekbones, and his black eyes were burning.

He was furious.

--

**Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to everyone! Did you all have a good one?  
Believe it or not, this was actually meant to be my Halloween chapter, but with uni work and whatnot it's never been finished until now. I hope you all like it, this is for everyone who's ever left me a review: I can't believe you guys were still doing that even though I've been totally AWOL for about 2 months.  
Also, I've been nominated for Twilight Awards?! WTF, man. Really. I totally can't believe it. Thank you so much to whoever is responsible, it means the world.**


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